9 months without riding....

M.B Co

Coast to Coast
Well, I'm going to be a dad! Super excited and I'm pumped. Reading all the books, doing what an amazing husband does.

Then the she throws out that I can't ride the bike this year because of the hormones and additional anxiety. She already has anxiety when I ride and being pregnant doesn't help.

Bummer...

At first I didn't think much of it then it set in and now I'm a little down in the dumps. Been waiting 2+ years to actively ride the KZ.

Thoughts? Motivation to do something else? Anyone else been in this position?
 
Is that anxiety suddenly going to go away after there is a hungry, crying newborn demanding attention, whose dad is facing daily death on his suicide machine?

If you stop now based on that, it's going to be hard to argue that you should ever start again.

Just my opinion, as a dad whose wife has an awesome attitude about my dangerous habits.

(And if you have to stop motorcycling, mountain biking (bicycling that is) is the best thing on the planet...IMHO. Also, might consider switching to motoing off-road only? You might biff on your enduro and fall off a cliff, but at least an 18-wheeler won't run you over when you hit the bottom...)
 
Well, theres no denying. SHE is probably right. The whole "father/husband" thing is a great responsibility. You need to be there for the both of them. And that may not include your "wants".
Best to sell the bike and put that money towards a mini-van and child safety seat. Sometimes life calls for compromises. A childs needs are a higher priority than your need to zip around on a motorcycle.

18 years from now...You will always be able to pick up another bike.
 
Get her un-pregnant and find an apartment. Just kidding, just kidding. You have to find a way to convince her that this is the guy she married and decided to have children with. You don't become a different person because of kids. I have two kids, and I agree that the motorcycles are dangerous. So are cars and trucks and bikes and snowmobiles and scooters and skateboards, and ice skates, and snowboards, and stray golf balls, and walking across the street and flying in airplanes and... so on and so on and so on. I've been hit several times while riding a bicycle, but have yet to get in a wreck on my motorcycle (knock on wood). I've skateboarded for 30 years and have suffered nothing more than a sprained wrist and bruised palms. I've had friends die in cars, yet fortunately no friends have died on motorcycles. It's always a game of chance, and you've gotten this far, so your odds seem pretty good.
 
trek97 said:
Best to sell the bike and put that money towards a mini-van and child safety seat. Sometimes life calls for compromises.
He's becoming a dad, not Mr. Mom.
 
Congrats! I had my first child arrive in Jan... it is what got me BACK to riding (with the wife's blessings) :) I sold a 1974 Norton 850 Commando in 1991 that developed trans issues (pre internet / beyond budget and/or knowledge for fixing)... rode a little 1978 KZ400 for another season past that. I ended up relocating the next year and haven't ridden since.

A high school buddy just started doing a frame up restro in his old Yamaha IT dirt bike, so I got the bug to reclaim my first bike to turn into a street bike. I picked up a ghost of a 1971 Yamaha CT1 175 a few months ago. Anyway, my daughter is here and I've started ripping this thing apart while collecting pieces :) with any luck I'll be able to ride it before winter hits. For now, it is a giving me a time killing hobby that doesn't involve playing my basses and guitars :)
 
deviant said:
You have to find a way to convince her that this is the guy she married and decided to have children with. You don't become a different person because of kids. I have two kids, and I agree that the motorcycles are dangerous. So are cars and trucks and bikes and snowmobiles and scooters and skateboards, and ice skates, and snowboards, and stray golf balls, and walking across the street and flying in airplanes and... so on and so on and so on. I've been hit several times while riding a bicycle, but have yet to get in a wreck on my motorcycle (knock on wood). I've skateboarded for 30 years and have suffered nothing more than a sprained wrist and bruised palms. I've had friends die in cars, yet fortunately no friends have died on motorcycles. It's always a game of chance, and you've gotten this far, so your odds seem pretty good.
This.

In whatever "dangerous" hobby I've been involved in, I let my loved ones know that I'm being as safe as I can possibly be. All I had was a motorcycle when I met my wife. And when I ride, I make a promise to myself that I will be coming home at the end of the day. She see me pre-trip/maintain my vehicles, she knows that I'm wearing gear, she understands that promise I make to myself. I've made her understand that, I don't ever want someone to knock on the door to inform her I was killed because I fucked up.
Like Eric said, life is full of risks. You can be killed by simply crossing the street. That's why you look both ways before stepping off the curb.
Show/explain to her that you're minimizing those risks and hopefully she'll understand ;)
 
Also, for what it is worth, my bike is a source of enjoyment for both me and my four-year old daughter. It is awesome that she is confident enough to ride around with me, and fully expects to have her own to ride someday...and doesn't think it is weird to get her hands dirty helping me do some practical life-skills wrenching.
 
Dad used to throw me on the tank and ride slowly in the neighborhood when I could not sleep as a baby, said the roundness of the tank and warmth of the motor put me to sleep in no time :p! It has also been 9 months since I hit a curb avoiding an idiot texting, so besides physical therapy (at the doctor's and rebuilding the bike) I joined a local shooting range and have become more involved with 4 wheel hot rods!
 
Dude, you don't have to give up your bike. Keep it. Take care of it. She'll come around. Keep your wits about you man! I didn't give up skydiving or motorcycles when my daughter was born. I used to drag her to the dropzone with me when she got 4 or 5. Changing the fundamentals of who you are is no gift to your child. (edit -unless you are a dipshit, then change by all means..) ;)
 
M.B Co said:
Well, I'm going to be a dad! Super excited and I'm pumped. Reading all the books, doing what an amazing husband does.

Then the she throws out that I can't ride the bike this year because of the hormones and additional anxiety. She already has anxiety when I ride and being pregnant doesn't help.

Bummer...

At first I didn't think much of it then it set in and now I'm a little down in the dumps. Been waiting 2+ years to actively ride the KZ.

Thoughts? Motivation to do something else? Anyone else been in this position?

My wife tried to pull the same thing. I was able to sell her on just commuting to work, but no trips. I had some line about cheaper on fuel, and the car would be home if she needed it. From there it was easy. Now we just argue about when I can takes the boys for a ride ( 2 1/2 years and 5 months )

~T
 
Congratulations, but you got be you. Get better safer gear and take extra time, only ride when in the right frame of mind. I don't know how old you are but when you hit your mid 40s you may find yourself consciously heading back to your happier self of your 20s. To deny your soul the freedom it needs will ultimately lead to some other destructive behavior or state of mind. Deviant has a good point. I strayed from those things that kept me happy and healthy... bad things will always find their way with or without your help. I'm gonna throw this out there... I'm betting no sex for 9 months either? You'll be an angry man.
 
Thanks guys for all the support!

The first thing she mentioned is that I don't have to sell it but take a break from it. I get it and respect it. On the other hand many of you made some great points and I just need to focus those points in way my wife will understand and respect. I have my needs and outlets through this process as well.

30 years old and it's my first and won't be my last. As deviant posted, its who I am. She married a bmx rider who was hurt all the time, traveled to comps and had fun and many many toys.

Has that changed over the years.....yes. But bmx and motorcycles hasn't. Its my passion and who I am. At times it can be some work to remind her of how happy it makes me. So I'll have work on that.

Thanks for all the tips. Much appreciated.
 
Here's something else to think about: I have a cousin who races bump and run and figure 8 cars. She's been driving them since way before she could legally drive on Michigan roads. The girl on the left posing in front of her car-

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Her dad is a pretty well known sidecar racer and ice racer in the Michigan circuits. He's her crew and crew chief. Racing is a way for them to connect. He has a son who is more into music and that's okay. The point is, this is stuff to do with our kids when they're old enough. It's ways to travel together, to spend time together. I hope its' that way for both of my girls.

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Long story short we did my father in law and he bought another bike. Now he wants to ride more often so this will be my way to convince the wife I should ride with him on the weekends. If it goes well I'll throw out riding to work once a week weather permitting.
 
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