That'll void your warranty - Your worst or most painful "fixes"

I recently watched a video where a car's oil pan was being drained of water. It was a lot of water. I would have to guess completely FULL of water. The mech says the woman filled her car with water after it overheated. Now you've got bigger problems.

I understand the difference between stupid and disinterest. We are just as quick to call somebody stupid for using a product expressly advertised to plug a coolant leak as an artisté is to judge a decent and logical person for inability to distinguish Jackson Pollick paintings from used wash rags.

But deciding to take it upon ones self to perform any sort of service on a precision machine without so much as consulting somebody is dumb on a Caliberal level.

I see a lot of bikes each month and get to tear into them and reveal a story of decades of use and abuse. Generally, the bodgy repairs are a fair attempt and the owner understood at least the basic concept of the problem, but wow are there some real fuck ups.

I guess I really need a means to vent and I want to hear the worst of the worst from others especially, because I know there are some incredible stories to tell. Go ahead, make our day.

No matter how much you see, I don't think I will cease to be shocked.

1. Teflon tape.

Used everywhere on everything. This does not replace o-rings and probably isn't the best alternative for aluminium crush washers in the coolant system.

2. RTV

I think the worst attempt I've see at repairing a set of carburettors (besides just tossing them out and plugging in a single automobile carb) was the offensively gratuitous use of Orange RTV to seal the float bowls. Not willing to part with the factory original bowl seals, somebody put so much RTV onto the mating surfaces that when compressed, it squeezed into the bowls and stuck the floats solid, as well as dissolved in the petrol. It was almost unbelievable the amount of goop that ended up inside the bowls.

3. Home electrical equipment

Besides the ever popular stereo wire and lamp leads, I can't seem to avoid coming face to face with those twist-on connectors for home AC. These are great for AC single-strand home applications but in a motorcycle it's just a disaster waiting to unravel.

4. JB weld

Stop it. Just stop it. I once got an old CM400 running that had sat for many years. The owners said they suspected an exhaust leak and that is probably why it sat. The first time I started the bike, the pipes smoked as usual, burning off the sediment, but then the most horrid noxious smell filled the air and it would not disperse. I later found the melted puddle of JB Weld on the ground, and didn't start the bike again because the owner refused to properly repair the exhaust. I still shiver at the thought of that assault on the senses that is burning JB Weld.

Part of the joy for me is finding other people's idiotic fixes that render their bike unrideable yet only take a few minutes or hours to fix.

Got a CB750 once that would start on choke, and sputter for a few minutes. The PO had taken it to a shop where the coated the tank with Cream, but instead of letting it cure either they or he put gas in it, turning the insides to an oatmeal-like texture. Trailered it down the road, pulled the float bowls, cleaned everything up, recoated the tank, and the thing ran great.

Got a 350F and the PO had taken it to a shop for a tune up. Said after that the thing slowly started running worse and worse, and so he parked it. The shop had coated the inside of the points cover with some kind of non-drying sealant that was gooped on there so heavily it dripped into the points. He used the same technique to "seal" two float bowls. Another easy fix on a bike bought for cheap.

I look for these kinds of deals from folks with your average Rush-Limbaugh-listener low IQ.

Oh boy, I love to buy a simple fix. My first truck was an Isuzu Wizard. In excellent shape but just had a "mysterious electrical problem." I can't remember how much I paid, about $200, but on the way home I stopped, bought a battery, put it on and the thing started right up. Rode the piss out of it. Found out it was overheating, which might've explained the owner's "oversight", and all I had to do was replace the head gasket and ride it some more.

Speaking of CB750, if somebody brings a SOHC to you and complains about pressure in the oil tank, check the plumbing. No shit, the crankcase breather was venting into the oil tank...

I'm guessing the sealant used on your 350 was the blue stuff that smells like pure acetone? I actually like the way it resists petrol but sealing the points cover....if there's oil dripping out of the points cover you have bigger concerns on your hands.

That truck problem reminds me of a 1970 Dodge Dart with a 318 I got for $500. Advertised as running rough, it sure was when I got there. Took it around the block on a quick drive, opened the hood, reattached the spark plug cable that had come loose, and the thing purred (well, it needed a new exhaust manifold gasket but that's about it).

Had a 74 Subaru DL given to me maybe around 79, the thing was losing water and would overheat in 20-30 miles of driving, I drove it with gallons of water for a month. I found that the water pump had been worked on and the PO had broken snapped the head off a seized bolt and also broke off the ear on the block where the leak was, well at the time I had no money or a way to weld aluminum so I filed and filed until I had a flat spot again, pinched a copper washer between the new pump, block and gasket snugged the new bolt up with some red let it sit overnight and then tightened up the rest of the bolts... Drove it for a year and sold it to a friends dad who drove it to work for what seemed like forever.

Exact color and fade:

Re: That'll void your warranty - Your worst or most painful "fixes"

Ah that disconnected spark plug is my kind of repair; free. I wish I got that lucky.

Redliner said:

No matter how much you see, I don't think I will cease to be shocked.

1. Teflon tape.

Used everywhere on everything. This does not replace o-rings and probably isn't the best alternative for aluminium crush washers in the coolant system.

2. RTV

I think the worst attempt I've see at repairing a set of carburettors (besides just tossing them out and plugging in a single automobile carb) was the offensively gratuitous use of Orange RTV to seal the float bowls. Not willing to part with the factory original bowl seals, somebody put so much RTV onto the mating surfaces that when compressed, it squeezed into the bowls and stuck the floats solid, as well as dissolved in the petrol. It was almost unbelievable the amount of goop that ended up inside the bowls.

3. Home electrical equipment

Besides the ever popular stereo wire and lamp leads, I can't seem to avoid coming face to face with those twist-on connectors for home AC. These are great for AC single-strand home applications but in a motorcycle it's just a disaster waiting to unravel.

4. JB weld

Stop it. Just stop it. I once got an old CM400 running that had sat for many years. The owners said they suspected an exhaust leak and that is probably why it sat. The first time I started the bike, the pipes smoked as usual, burning off the sediment, but then the most horrid noxious smell filled the air and it would not disperse. I later found the melted puddle of JB Weld on the ground, and didn't start the bike again because the owner refused to properly repair the exhaust. I still shiver at the thought of that assault on the senses that is burning JB Weld.

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Don't you tell me how to live my life...
I personally like to fabricate new float bowls out of twist connectors, wrapped in Teflon tape and then for extra sealablility, a nice coating of jb weld. (BTW my bike isn't running right, Think you could take a look at it?)

Having worked as an auto tech for many years, I have all kinds of stories but my favourite was a Chrysler 300 that came in for motor not running with 20,000km on the clock. Put key in and try to start, starter is trying but nothing moving, up on the hoist I drop the oil pan drain plug and about 500ml of goo comes out. This car was a 3 year lease and the lady who owned thought that all she had to do for the duration of the lease was just put gas in it and not do your routine oil changes. YUP, that isn't covered by warranty

This story actually came from a friend of mine who was a Chrysler mechanic as well.
An elderly lady came in bought a brand new 1987 dodge Omni with a standard transmission.
Not a month later she had it towed back in, claiming that the car would no longer move.
Upon inspection, my friend the mechanic realized that the clutch was completely worn out.
They decided to replace the clutch, thinking that it may have been defective from the factory.
Another month went by and here came the Omni again, with the lady making the same claim.
The clutch was completely worn out, and they replaced it again, this time charging her and putting in an aftermarket clutch of some sort.
A month or so later the lady had her car towed in again, and once again the clutch was worn out.
Tim (my mechanic friend) was tasked with riding with the old lady to see what she could possibly be doing to wear out a clutch so fast.
It turns out that she was a recent widow and had never been tought to drive and when her husband died she wanted a brand new car.
Never learning the right way to drive a standard, she would simply put the car in second gear, mash the gas to the floor, bouncing off the rev limiter, and to go a little faster, she would just let out on the clutch a little more and of course to slow down push it in. This is how she drove the car and subsequently went through 4 clutches in 4 months. I bet driving that car stunk!!

I'm sure you're expression was priceless. "Where's the rest of it?"

In the "hood" I had a roommate that pretty much exemplified the hood. He wouldn't pay to fix ANYTHING until it was an inconvenience to his highness' standard of comfort. Or, if it was a costly repair, he would wait until the vehicle simply would NOT get him there.

He rode a bus home one day and so I asked what happened. He said his truck blew up and he sold it on the side of the road for $100. He said "yeah it was exactly the same thing that happened to my last truck." Well, my other roommate was actually a sort of co-worker that knew him for many years and described that he had completely overheated and destroyed a 2001 BMW only months after purchase, a 1999 Ford Ranger, a company fleet van all before this truck as well. As it seems, he wouldn't add any coolant to the system no matter how anybody would appeal.

I always noticed spots under his vehicles of oil and coolant. But when anybody said it should be checked out he would nod and say "yeah you're right", jump into the truck and leave.

Now I really wish I was making this up, but when I had to swap the motor in my car, I asked for a ride to the auto parts store. Along the way I noticed that his car was shivering now and then with a few misfires and would almost die when engaging the clutch. I said to him, "hey man, you should let me check the fluids in the truck just in case it's low or overheating" and, again I wish I could forget the look on his face, he looked dead at me and said "I don't have to worry. God will get me there."

I never had such an awkward ride home.

Now to the sad part of the story. He comes home one day with a new truck. It's a 2008 Ford Explorer Sport Track with full trim. Less than 5k miles! I told the guy, "hey man, if you keep up on this vehicle, your kids could even drive it some day. It will last a life time." He agreed and swore adamantly that he would maintain it.

A few days after he purchased the truck, I saw him adding coolant to the system and changing the oil. Now, he did change the filter AFTER adding the new oil, but the truck wouldn't know any difference as long as you top it up.

I thought, wow he might actually make it after all. Cue fairytale music and they lived happily ever after.

But no, that was the end of it. No more checking fluids, no more cleaning the interior. Just squealing brake pads and cracked tyres. When one tyre went out, he simply used the spare....which was also dry rotted. When he replaced the spare he bought a used tyre, which was surprisingly showing age as well.

By now I assume the vehicle is totaled and he's bought whatever was priced lowest on Craigslist.

hurco550 said:

(BTW my bike isn't running right, Think you could take a look at it?)

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Nah, you just need to use some RTV on the head gasket so it REALLY seals up and doubles the compression.

Redliner said:

But deciding to take it upon ones self to perform any sort of service on a precision machine without so much as consulting somebody is dumb on a Caliberal level.

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Maybe if you want to make a point about ignorance and stupidity you shouldn't paint an entire group of people with a disparaging brush.

Re: That'll void your warranty - Your worst or most painful "fixes"

Redliner said:

Nah, you just need to use some RTV on the head gasket so it REALLY seals up and doubles the compression.

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I just took the head gasket out. decreased volume = increased compression... duh... but anyways my bike doesn't have any compression. might need you to look into that too....

Yup, just blue print it and glue it... what is squish clearance?? anybody ever heard of such a silly thing ???

RD

Sonreir said:

Maybe if you want to make a point about ignorance and stupidity you shouldn't paint an entire group of people with a disparaging brush.

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Nah, they practically paint their selves this way. No really.






That story about the dodge is the most terrible thing I've heard today. More.

Here's some favorites of mine

I guess you just can't fix stupid.

Those are all actually pretty awesome photos. What do you have against vaginas? And do you really think that being gay and being a pedophile is the same thing?

Sonreir said:

I guess you just can't fix stupid.

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That's not true. Look at the Mark Dice vids where he gets them to sign petitions to kill senior citizens and approve "Obamacare" for pets. I can guarantee you they will sign a petition to get their selves spayed and neutered!

carnivorous chicken said:

Those are all actually pretty awesome photos. What do you have against vaginas? And do you really think that being gay and being a pedophile is the same thing?

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This.

Redliner said:

That's not true. Look at the Mark Dice vids where he gets them to sign petitions to kill senior citizens and approve "Obamacare" for pets. I can guarantee you they will sign a petition to get their selves spayed and neutered!

Click to expand...

I hear a pipe organ, I swear I do!