Pick Up Lines that just don't seem to work

Jim

Active Member
It's cold and we need some humour.

Pick up Lines with Rebuttals

1. Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

2. Man: "Haven't I seen you some place before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

3. Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

4. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

5. Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

6. Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one a##hole in there."

7. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

8. Man: "So what do you do for a living ?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

9. Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

10. Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

11. Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop"

12. Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

13. Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah!!! Let's pick up some chicks!"

14. Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

15. Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

16. Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

17. Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

18. Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

19. Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

20. Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

21. Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."
Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

22. Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

23. Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

23. Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

And the one my wife likes best...

24. Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
 
this is probably telling my age.... but years ago (1984), a fella used this line on me "I write the music for Steven Spielberg's movies" I just said "really?" and walked away. 5 minutes later I hear him using the same crappy line on another woman. now keep this in mind, this was in a small hick bar in Illinois, USA, in the middle of no-where. ::) how stupid does he think women are???
 
This one alway works for me without fail: "Hey-ya baby.. Lets play house...You can be the storm-door and I'll slam you all night."... ;D
 
locOleoN said:
This one alway works for me without fail: "Hey-ya baby.. Lets play house...You can be the storm-door and I'll slam you all night."... ;D

sure it does........ ;D
 
ok ....ok .. Fine.. heres one that works for me...honestly.."Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see"

"Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose"." What?" (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) "BEEP"

"You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear"

" Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package"

My All time favourite one that never fails me!!:
"You're so hot, your ass is on fire, so why not let me put it out with my hose!!!"...

(SLAP).. "ouch!!...was that really necessary??!!" sheesh...
 
Once heard in a bar in Minnesota (and this is a true story). Guy was a drummer in band, walks up to a girl at the bar and says

"Excuse me miss, I seem to be suffering from a severe case of semen retention".

And it WORKED.

But then again, drummers are a different breed....... I may have started something here.
 
Equus said:
One of my favorite feme fatales and of my fav line..

Is that a gun in your pocket? or you just happy to see me?

Guess from who? ;)

ummm.. I NEVER SAID THAT to you!!!!.. LOL!!!. (did I??)...hmmm..Im sure I didnt use that one!!..
 
locOleoN said:
well, which one you would you fall for If I came up to you???.

if you used the "underwear" line on me, you'd definately have my attention. it takes a little effort to make someone laugh when you meet them for the first time. ;)
 
karen said:
locOleoN said:
well, which one you would you fall for If I came up to you???.

if you used the "underwear" line on me, you'd definately have my attention. it takes a little effort to make someone laugh when you meet them for the first time. ;)

LOL.. Ok so fine...The underwear one...
What would a guy need to say after that to close the deal??... ???
 
after that, you are on your own. wing it..... ;D fyi, no two women are alike or will react the same. does that help???
 
AW DAmn... shot down... LOL...
see. I just could never get past the opening line part... I end up just mumbling something then I studder..then I end up pathetically walk away...Bahahaha!!!!
 
locOleoN said:
AW DAmn... shot down... LOL...
see. I just could never get past the opening line part... I end up just mumbling something then I studder..then I end up pathetically walk away...Bahahaha!!!!

you should have just told her that you are Troy McClure...
 
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