Joke of the day?

Sooooo touching!











As a bagpiper, I'm often called upon to play at weddings, military

events, and funerals. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to



play at a grave side service for a homeless man. The man had no family

or friends, so the service was set at the county pauper's cemetery in

the Kentucky back woods.







I was not familiar with the backwoods and soon found myself lost. Being



a typical man I didn't stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an

hour late - the staff from the funeral home was long gone and the

hearse was nowhere in sight.







There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I



felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side

of the grave and looked down. The vault lid was already in place. I

didn't

know what else to do, so I started to play..







The workers put down

their lunches and began to gather around. I played

out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played

like I've never played before for this homeless man.







And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept.



I wept. We all wept together.







When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car.







Though my head hung low my heart was full..







As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I



never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic

tanks for twenty years."

one for today:
Two Arab gentlemen boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab gentleman in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'




As soon as he left, one of the Arab gentlemen picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab gentleman said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab gentleman picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.




As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'

I love this one.

An Irishman, a Scottsman, and a Brit all walk into a pub and order a pint of bitters.

A few minutes later, they all realize that a fly has landed in each of their glasses.

The Irishman flicks the fly off and enjoys his brew.

The Englishman promply complains and orders a new pint, in a clean glass.

The Scot picks up the fly and squeezes him over his beer and yells, "spit it out ya damn thievin' bastard!" "Do you know how much that fuckin' pint cost me?"