hahahahhaha you guys are fackin' great!
I've back-burnered the full on hard tail idea, just too much time and attention, and honestly, i dont know how much this bike's got left in her, speedo's at 60k!!! but for a 50$ bike and hopefully less than 50$ in parts... new plan is to chop the rear off, drop the suspension by at least an inch by cutting coils, throw in a single seat (ideas needed on mounting one, and any source for a cheap springy-seat would help) and then riding it 'til it dies in full spine/cage/spike getup.
The Beast arrives in my garage Tuesday night, more pics to follow...