A question for the guys in relationships

F

flatcurve

Been Around the Block
Would you let Would you be okay with your wife or girlfriend riding on the back of some other guy's bike (a guy you have only met once or twice) if you weren't there?


My wife is going on a business trip, and one of her coworkers is offering to take her on a ride when she gets out there. Chest beating aside, I have to say absolutely not. I don't know the guy. I don't know how he rides. I don't know what kind of condition his bike is in. I don't know what kind of risks he takes on the bike. Plus, while I have absolutely no reason not to trust my wife, I certainly don't know what his intentions are. Giving motorcycle rides to coworkers of the opposite sex isn't exactly business as usual. I certainly don't do it. I know she wouldn't do anything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to give this guy the opportunity to have her tits up against his back for an hour or so. So I told her I wasn't comfortable with it, and asked her not to bring her helmet and jacket.


That's not to say I'd never let my wife ride on another guy's bike... but it'd have to be somebody I trusted not to kill the love of my life.


Is that crazy?


edited to clarify that I don't "let" my wife do anything. She makes her own decisions.
 
Would i do the same thing in the same situation? Abso-friggin-lutely! Having said that, Im not married or in a relationship, although i have had numerous (some would argue too many) girlfriends.
 
Absolutely not man. Trust isn't even an issue in this. From a safety standpoint I'd say fuck that. Putting your wife's life in the hands of someone you've never met and will most likely be trying to show off (if he's a man it's a guarantee, right?) is retarded. Put your foot down on this one.
 
I suppose it is her decision but there are many many reasons why she should NOT ride with him... what are her thoughts on it? On the safety? How would she feel if a female coworker came to your location for a business trip... would she (your wife) be ok with you taking your coworker out?
 
SquadraCorse said:
Absolutely not man. Trust isn't even an issue in this. From a safety standpoint I'd say fuck that. Putting your wife's life in the hands of someone you've never met and will most likely be trying to show off (if he's a man it's a guarantee, right?) is retarded. Put your foot down on this one.
Click to expand...

Exactly what I was thinking. Plus, it doesn't help that he built the bike (OCC-style chopper) and therefore has something to prove. No way is my wife getting on some ass-heavy raked out death trap with a 1.5 liter motor. She thinks this means he'll be safer than somebody who just bought it, but I don't think that applies to glamour bikes.
 
Oh! Fer fuck's sake. Grow up!
Is your weinie really that small?
Your wife is an adult. It is not up to you to "let" her do anything, unless you are one of those dick-wagging wife-beaters.

You might want to advise her of your safety concerns, but whether you "let" her or not, she will do what she wants, because YOU are not there. Try to be the swaggering, dominating dick-head, and she will just lose respect...That is, if she hasn't already.
 
scm said:
Crazy or not - it's her decision, isn't it?
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Where safety is concerned, both of us have veto power over the other in decisions like this. If she can tell me that she doesn't want me riding in a pack with a certain buddy of mine who is known to raise his front wheel from time to time, I can tell her not to do this. I mean, that's fair, right?
 
AlphaDogChoppers said:
Oh! Fer fuck's sake. Grow up!
Is your weinie really that small?
Your wife is an adult. It is not up to you to "let" her do anything, unless you are one of those dick-wagging wife-beaters.

You might want to advise her of your safety concerns, but whether you "let" her or not, she will do what she wants, because YOU are not there. Try to be the swaggering, dominating dick-head, and she will just lose respect...That is, if she hasn't already.
Click to expand...

Wow, you just took that to a whole different level, didn't you? Of course I told her about my concerns and of course she can do what she wants. But I'm sorry if I don't think a marriage is healthy if one of the partners disregards the other's feelings and does what they want in spite of it.
 
flatcurve said:
Where safety is concerned, both of us have veto power over the other in decisions like this. If she can tell me that she doesn't want me riding in a pack with a certain buddy of mine who is known to raise his front wheel from time to time, I can tell her not to do this. I mean, that's fair, right?
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It is.
What I wanted to say is let her know about your
concerns and respect her decision.
That's at least what I would do, my wife has both
driving license and motorbike for more than 20
years now, so I'd have no troubles let her decide
things like that.


Best regards
Sven
 
Its is her decision but I would definitely make my feelings known on the matter and if she loves and respects you she will make the right choice. I would never approve of my girl riding on the back some other dude's bike that I don't know. Good luck man! You sound like you are more concerned for her safety than being jealous although sometimes, for me anyway, its hard to tell the difference. lol :D
 
I've been happily married for 15 years and with her a total of 20 and I always respect her feelings, and she always repects mine. So that being said.... How would she feel if you were going to take a girl she hardly knows for a ride?

PS Dogs comments are from a single man I figure.
 
I guess it is her decision but I would definately tell her how you feel about it all and why. I'm still a newly wed but I would have a problem with it. Not knowing the guy and all the stuff you have already mentioned. I don't have the experience of other longer married members here.
 
scm said:
It is.
What I wanted to say is let her know about your
concerns and respect her decision.
That's at least what I would do, my wife has both
driving license and motorbike for more than 20
years now, so I'd have no troubles let her decide
things like that.


Best regards
Sven
Click to expand...

Yep, totally. That's why I asked her not to take her helmet, instead of telling her not to. It would be a different story if my wife had her m class license. She would definitely know enough then to make her own decision, and I wouldn't even think about it. But she doesn't. She's a tiny little thing that has a tendency to stiffen up when she gets scared, and also has a hard time leaning when she should. Kind of a handful as a passenger to be honest. Don't tell her I said that.
 
Mossy21 said:
How would she feel if you were going to take a girl she hardly knows for a ride?
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I didn't ask because the conversation never went that far... but if she brings it up again before she leaves, it's definitely a valid point. There are certainly some girls I work with and am friends with that she would go absolutely batshit crazy if I let ride on my bike.
 
All feelings and safety aside, I can't think of a single reason a guy would offer to take someone else's wife for a ride (away from home) than pure ego. You don't know the guy, its not exactly an honorable thing for one man to to do that to another. It goes exactly the same way for me if it were a girl. Id let my best friend take my wife out on a ride if it were offered, but I know him and he wouldn't do that without first asking me. A real man knows and respects boundaries.
 
That's a no. My wife wouldn't even ask me, because she would be uncomfortable hugging on some other dude god knows how many miles from me. The idea of me strapping some chick on the back with me is just as awkward. That is without even considering the safety angle. If is someone you both know and trust its one thing, but this just isn't cool in my book.

And AlphaDog that's just fucked up. You have no clue as to his situation, or his relationship. There are things me and my wife both know the other wouldn't let us do. That gives us the decision whether or not to comply. Sounds like your other half won't let you put your foot down "Alpha". After all I wouldn't 'let' my wife fuck my brother, and if she did I'd be out. No dick wagging or wife beating involved.

As to the actual issue, how did the question come up? If she came to you laughing, and said joe-schmoe asked me to ride his mid life crisis, you're cool. If she was caught smuggling out her riding gear in a duffel bag full of g-strings, you probably have bigger topics to address.
 
<<I don't think a marriage is healthy if one of the partners disregards the other's feelings and does what they want in spite of it.>>

But yet you think it's healthy for one partner in the marriage to boss the other one around? What is this, 1950?
 
Nobody is "bossing" anyone around. From what I read, he simply told his wife that he didnt think it was a good idea, and would prefer she didnt do it. Id feel the same way. Whether its a guy, another girl, whoever... The guy could be aa complete asshole with limited riding experience. The guys concerned with his wifes well being, which is completely respectable. I think you may need to dial it down a notch Alpha.
 
Mossy21 said:
PS Dogs comments are from a single man I figure.
Click to expand...

Or a divorced one... Marriage is about compromise and boundaries. To enter into a marriage contract is to abandon life in the singular, and agree to live as one. The very term marriage implies both obligation and devotion. That means both parties are involved in decisions equally. I have yet to read that Flatcurve is proposing forcing anyone to do anything. The advice given was to put his foot down, not lock her in the bathroom.
 
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