Douchebag father in-law

Rpino7

Rpino7

A.T.K.H.
So my Father in-law is a Dominican spanglish speaking mechanic for around 40 years. Started out as a motorcycle Mechanic and moved to 4 wheeled vehicles. He knows motorcycles in and out, but always takes the easy way when it comes to repairs or doing anything. You could say that he is not very detailed oriented. My motorcycle is at his house that is where I am doing all the work on it outside in the freezing cold! I just painted my engine and asked him for help to put it in and he just says that they will do it by himself when he is free because he is very busy. I told him that I will just do it with him because i don't want the paint to get dinged on the frame. and he tells me that I don't know anything about engines or motorcycles and he is a mechanic of 4o years, bla bla bla.. I understand that I am just learning about motorcycles and don't have 40 years under my belt, but that is no way to talk to your son in-law or any person for that matter. given this is not the first bad experience I have had with him, or the first time that he has made me feel like crap when it comes to motorcycles. I think I am just done asking him for anything. Its very disappointing because he knows a ton about bikes and I would really love to learn from him. but he insist on doing things carelessly and the easy way with out trying to teach me things and just cutting to the chase and doing it himself leaving nothing but hurtful remarks. I hope that he changes in his ways and sure as hell hope he does not treat my son like that when he needs help from him with something!
just venting!
:-\
 
Do what you can yourself - he'll come around.

To put the engine in yourself, the easiest way to do it and not damage anything is to lay it on its side on blankets, wrap the frame rails with rags/tape and lay the frame on the engine. Install the major mounting bolts and put it upright.

Of course easiest to do that with the front end, tank, rear end etc. off the bike.

Or get a friend. And if you don't want to put up with your FIL, get your bike out of his house :)
 
Thats some helpful info, Thanks.
I would have it gone but there is nowhere else to work on the bike, NYC is short of space and the space we have is mad $$$$
I will hopefully have it running in the next couple days, HOPEFULLY.
 
I wish it were that easy. I have no friends with there own place in NY i moved here 4 years ago and am still trying to make connections. The friends I do have are not in to motorcycles. need to make some moto friends! just gotta go with the punches and avoid the guy!
 
Yep, remember that he has 40 years under his belt. What I mean by that is that the stuff that you're passionate about (the details in the paint, tins, all of the hard work, etc.) he doesn't get because it isn't his baby, and he's conditioned to think about bikes and cars from a "job" perspective. We're all guilty of that. I'm a field training officer at work, and always have to remember that just because I have been doing what I do full time for over a decade doesn't mean that the new hire or the student that comes in isn't excited. I used to get excited about work too, but now it's just another day, another dollar, and I'd rather be at home. Same thing with him I'm sure. I've found in those situations, the best thing to do is to talk out your concerns with people. My FIL used to not like me either. My wife and I have been together for 13 years, and when we were much younger, I was the tattooed up weird guy that his daughter was with. Now he sees that I'm successful in my own way and take care of his daughter the best that I can. We sat down and had some good talks and now we're pretty good friends and I'm the first person that he calls when he needs a hand. Put in some time with him and he'll come around. Let him know how important this stuff is to you. He probably has no clue. We here all know that "You have to get it to get it".
 
Do it yourself and learn from places like this site, who knows maybe he'll respect you more when he sees the finished product.
 
Some good wisdom kanticoy I guess only time will tell!
Maybe I'll have a talk with him about the way I am feeling.
Maybe he will look at it a bit differently.
 
Just think of the time and money he has wrapped up in his baby he trust you with her. i would show him your capable and put the motor in then give him the chance to save the day and help get it running.
 
He'll get it running, those DR guys still have thousands of Honda Cubs running around like they were made in 2013. Patience is key.
 
What's your father-in-law favorite beer, rum or food? Next time bring a 24 pack to talk business, might not get any work done but at least you bonded.
 
Things I have trouble tolerating from the kids these days .

interrupting a face to face conversation to answer a text on a phone that costs more than a weeks wages .

nodding and mumbling yeah yeah yeah all the while but when it comes to doing it on their own it's the very same questions over and over and over ...

I either teach for no more than a please , thank you and a promise to teach what they have learned or I write a work order and they pay the bill . I don't do both . Meaning if it's their bike and if they want to learn they do all the work and pay for no more than parts , shop supplies and donate to utilities . I won't do it for them while they thumb fuck a phone and stare off into space wondering where their next high is coming from .

I don't do squids , as customers or students . I convert them to "motorcycle enthusiasts" or progressively better mechanics or they go away .

I don't deal with ego , ignorance or shortcuts that compromise safety .

Check out my sig line . it's your bike and your life . That I won't test ride your near lethal example of personal expression should be enough of a clue that you don't have to be hit with a clue-by-four .Otherwise customize to your hearts content . I might even help .

I too have 40 years of experience in and around the industry . I've developed a lack of people skills and patience because of it . I attempt to balance it with a willingness to teach what I've learned . I have however become something of a grumpy old man in the process . Talk to members here and you will hopefully get equal parts of "lot to be learned from that guy" and "damn he lit me up " . It's about the same for those that know me in person .

I offer this as a second opinion that you can compare to the FIL . There are more than a few of us crazy old fuckers that have lost or never had people skills over the years . We're iconic in our own minds , acerbic in nature , caustic in demeanor , no patience for willful ignorance in any degree and generally worn out by questions that are easily answered by that over priced communications device that will spill forth answers to questions you never thought to ask . We had word of mouth , a few good books and a tramp or mechanic in the neighborhood that was willing to share if we swept out the garage.

In the end we're here to help or we wouldn't be here .

I wish you well with the FIL . Just keep in mind that he may be as worn out and as difficult as I have become .

~ a Douchebag father in-law

kop
 
i frustrate the hell out of "kids" that want to work in my shop, most of my answers to their questions come in the form of "is it detailed in the manual?" i've never seen a project not abandoned yet... there's really no sense in doing something on your own and learning valuable things when you can just skip to the next big cool thing and talk about that instead for the next two weeks. I'm convinced tv has caused the downfall of manual skill...
 
Re: Re: Douchebag father in-law

Roc City Cafe said:
I'm convinced tv has caused the downfall of manual skill...
Click to expand...

I agree wholeheartedly. I preach all of the time about 30 minute attention spans and how they infuriate me. Nothing worth doing comes without time and frustration. If you have the patience, skill will naturally follow. My favorite people are the grumpy old bastards that forgot more than I've ever known. They seem to become my best friends.
 
i have a salvadoran father in law who loves wine but can't fix a flat. He's the best though. Other advice in this thread is spot on I think. Appeal to him through beverage or grub.
 
Re: Re: Douchebag father in-law

kopcicle said:
sucking up will get ya no where kid ...




~kop
Click to expand...

Who says I'm not a grumpy old bastard myself?! I suck up to no one, but I do listen.
 
I'm the same way and I've only been building bikes for 25 years. Open your ears or hit the door. Much less nice when it comes to stuff with a flathead engine, and the next little puke in a fart can Civic that comes by and wants my flathead 6 powered Dodge, so he can stick a 350/350 Chebby in it, add some wide tires, gaudy paint and flip it like Gas Monkey is likely to get shot. I'm always strapped, I have 54 acres and a backhoe, and HATE GM (and Japanese cars)...
 
"There are more than a few of us crazy old fuckers that have lost or never had people skills over the years . We're iconic in our own minds , acerbic in nature , caustic in demeanor "

I resemble that remark. ;)
 
These last comments have been spot on and to the OP he is teaching you some thing its called patience 8) and one more thing if my son in-law said quote I told him that I will just do it with him because i don't want the paint to get dinged on the frame. ::) my reply would be don't ding the fucking paint on your way home with that fucking thing :mad:
all in all I think your father in-law is trying to be nice and your here calling him a Douche :eek:
 
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