Joke of the Day

[ayrheadracer]

Why men should avoid a Lads night out after they are married.......

The other night I was invited out for a night with 'the lads.'

I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the beers went down way too easy. Around
3 a.m., a bit pissed, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!!!

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 'Midnight'. She didn't seem pissed off at all.

Phew! Got away with that one!

Then she said,

'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

When I asked her why, she said,

'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'OH SHIT', cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

 

[grimz]

lmfao.
thats good.

 

[kzromey]

lol, here's one i just got recently....


A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."



The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."



For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".



The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!



For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."



The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!



The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."



Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.



Male readers: Please scroll down.



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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.



Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.



PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

 

[grimz]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa