getindachoppa said:
HEY check it out its a cafe racer! ha ha get?? its a CAFE racer!
Ironically, I once had this guy renting a room from me and he seemed ok at first, but turned out to be a desperate belligerent alcoholic. He was always so sure that he knew something because he heard it on the History channel or something, not realizing he wasn't fully understanding the concepts and that his brain was mush.
One example is the fact that matter can't occupy the same space at the same time. That's how we know it to be, however that complete documented-fuck-up called "Time Cop" was an excellent example of misunderstanding or bad recollection. The entire film is based around the "fact" that the
same matter can't occupy the same space. In what world is that relevant and so even possible? The same matter? What? How would there be any such thing as "same matter"? As if matter can be duplicated? But of course the film centers around time travel and the writer's completely self-assuring ignorance. So here he is trying to bestow upon me this wisdom and how therefore time travel would never be possible, and as I normally do I simply state the facts then dismiss him because that alone is probably further than I wished to have gone.
So the one morning we had any freezing in Dallas that year, his car wouldn't start. It of course was due to the fact that he had been using a power inverter in the cigarette lighter to power a work lamp while he was installing(?) a stereo.
Well he insisted that it was due to the fact that "Walmart batteries" don't have any cold cranking amps because they're cheap and therefor won't crank in freezing temperatures. So I simply stated that CCA is nothing more than the measure of how long a certain voltage can be applied while at 0ºF and he erupted. In his most condescending tone, which made it hysterically ironic, he says, "ACK-shoo-alee, there is no such thing as absolute 0º. It's a physical scientifical impossibility!" It was so appalling that I had to actually stop and ask how there could be no such thing as 0ºF if there were negative values commonly used. His response, delivered with the greatest passion and patronizing tone, was that "the temperature falls to a certain decimal point and then to the negative, but it's
never actually just zero-point-zero. So no matter what you're measuring, it will never be absolutely zero, it would be zero-point-zero-zero-zero-something, but never absolutely zero."
I just about cracked at this point and wanted to go on a long spiel of the many completely absurd and probably certifiably retarded faults in logic and basic daily activities that I witness of him minute by minute, but I summoned my last ounce of strength and resorted to my usual tactics of shit-the-facts and run. I explained that kelvin is the scale at which it is often said "absolute zero" cannot be reached and that it actually can be reached, but not by thermodynamic equilibrium. To this, he eloquently replied, "You just said "thermo!" I'm talking about the cold here!"
For the sake of my own sanity I just laughed and left him to leave a floor heater under his hood to heat his battery so that he could drive about 5-minutes walking distance away to get cigarettes and sedatives, er, I mean 40oz bottles of 211.
But that doesn't even compare to when he walked in on a conversation I was having with my robot-building ex-Microsoft friend. This guy published user guides for AutoCad, and yet this slack-jaw thinks he can talk down to him?
I'm not sure how we came to the discussion, but basically it had to do with the scene in Star Trek film where the guy is falling and burns up in some planet's atmosphere. We both found it completely ridiculous but here he came charging in head-first, "awww no that's retarded! Dude, how many times have you seen when the space ships and stuff, dude, do you even know that when those rockets went up, part of them gets brought back and that burns up? Do you not remember when the space station came down and burned up? Or even like after that when the Columbus was landing and just blew up all over Texas! Of course it happens dude. DUDE, you know shooting stars? Shooting stars, right? Yeah, can you even guess what that actually is? Little space dust like the size of bb's, a friggin bb, and they're falling to earth, dude it's happening all the time! Like every day crap is burning up and landing here and you don't even know like hell it's happening right now, dude, right now I'll, look dude, I can stand right here and look outside and see watch this. Yep, oh right there, see? Oh but no that's not real, that's just made up cuz star trek. Look dude there's another one right there, like no really like come, see, there goes another one right there, no that's just bullshit on star trek none of that, that's all made up. You got, you, you're still growing up dude. You're just, *sucks thumb and rocks cradling arms* just a baaaaby. And you know everything, right? Because you're, like what? What are you like twenty? Twenty faaaaahv? *sucks thumb* Just a baby. But you'll learn. Oh you'll learn. You have an opinion about everything you think you know everything but, it's like he said, the only thing we know is that I don't really know anything. But no, you'll find out. No it's cool. You'll get there and then you're gonna see. But for now, of course you know everything. Of course you do."
That was the second time I lost everything I had due to the slow and absurd ways the Dallas county jail operates and a restraining order that restricted me from returning to my own address. So I had to slowly build up my collection of tools all over again by offering motorcycle services in exchange for a tool here or a set there. That was right when the café racer scene was exploding and I made some good scores by simply getting motors running on otherwise beautiful(ish) work and repairing first-timers' hard lessons.
Without the café fad, I don't even know how I would have made it by.
And so here I am today!
