Stressed out finals rant...

[Rocan]

Hey all, i've been gone forever because of college.

Anyway. Been stressed with finals lately. Don't know who else to turn to except my brothers here at DTT.

My life dream is to produce my own motorcycles. To have a company of my own that can put up a battle against the great bikes the major companies (Ducati, Honda, Suzuki etc) put out today.

So, I went to school to study to be a mechanical engineer.

And I got my ass kicked this semester. I've always been intelligent; hell, did better then most of my school on the SAT's and in the classes i actually cared about....

But now all of a sudden I feel like i'm failing everything. I already failed chemistry, as I simply couldn't grasp the concepts. My programming class (matlab) went so so. I think I passed the course, albeit with a shitty grade.

So only two classes left I have finals for. Calculus tomorrow. Physics tuesday. Physics, should go well enough.

But calculus... I just dont understand anything it seems. All material i've covered a million times, but i feel like I'll fail. not that im a nervous person, believe me im not.


So, disregarding all that, I need encouragement. My big dream is to drop out and open shop with the money i feel like im wasting here. If i fail, I'm going to do everything in my power to get my parents permission to do just that.

So why would I want to stay in school? Why would i want to go to my next semester (most likely on academic probation) and work my ass off for four years just to have a piece of paper that says im an engineer, yet does nothing in the ways of allowing me to have the company of my dreams?


Sorry this is messy and nearly incomprehensible, really it is written in haste. Just help me out boys, I'm feelin depressed and beat, and more or less at rock bottom. My phone was recently lost on top of it all, just to add to the hopeless feeling. My rents don't share my outlook and love for machinery like many of you do... so someone gimme some help.

 

[66replica]

My wife and I both graduated from engineering school. It was tough, but I feel quite accomplished and significantly more knowledgable for doing it. I ended up with nearly a 4.0 but for the first semester or two it was tough. I struggled to pass Calc I. After the first semester or two, you generally get used to workload and learn how to study more efficiently. Unfortunately, our elementary/middle/high schools don't prepare students for rigorous fields like engineering. We've dumbed our schools down to the lowest common denominator in order to make people feel good about themselves.

All this to say, it will most likely get better. It is hard work, but so is anything worth doing. Give it another go.

 

[Staffy]

Dude, I know how you feel fighting through your first year. At the age of 32 I trundled off to University this year as well and juggling that with the family and trying to work enough to keep us clear is hard but I know I'm in it for the long haul because I'm enjoying what I'm studying and I have my eye on the prize and the end goal. If it wasn't for those two things I wouldn't be there (plus the support of SWMBO of course).
You're gonna need to dig deep at this point and be honest with yourself. I always remeber Kevin Spacey from the movie Swimming with Sharks saying "What is it that you really want".
I guess that's the crux of what you need to think about while you're at this impasse. You sound like you know what the prize is but don't know the right way to go there.
You've always appeared to be a smart fella, so I'm confident you can get this stuff but it might be you need an extra hand along the way. It could be there's someone out there studying the same stuff but a few years ahead who can help. Also, I've always found my lecturers and tutors doors were open if I had any questions about anything.
I guess the key here is what are you prepared to do to achieve what you want and what do you actually need to do to achieve this.
There's plenty of brilliant engineers out there with no formal education but there's just as many with one. Let us know how you go lil' buddy.

 

[Rocan]

Thanks 66... That is a really useful comment. I already feel a bit better.

yeah, calc I is whats eating me up. My highschool prepared me relatively well for college, and thats why I feel so stressed.

Though I do have to admit I spent all of about 10 hours this semester studying for anything (including the past three ive spent studying calc I).



maybe I should just stop being a whiney bitch and admit to myself that I spent the past semester smoking my weight in pot and obtained absolutely nothing from it except for quite possibly removing myself of the majority of my cognitive ability?

I realized something just now... The difficult part is not finding the solution to the problem, but accepting it.

 

[Staffy]

Thanks 66... That is a really useful comment. I already feel a bit better.

yeah, calc I is whats eating me up. My highschool prepared me relatively well for college, and thats why I feel so stressed.

Though I do have to admit I spent all of about 10 hours this semester studying for anything (including the past three ive spent studying calc I).



maybe I should just stop being a whiney bitch and admit to myself that I spent the past semester smoking my weight in pot and obtained absolutely nothing from it except for quite possibly removing myself of the majority of my cognitive ability?

I realized something just now... The difficult part is not finding the solution to the problem, but accepting it.

Head down, bum up and keep your eye on the prize bro. You're gonna get there but you have a bit of catching up to do right now I bet.

Like I said, I'm sure if you tap the right people for information you'll get the help you need.

 

[Rocan]

thanks staffy. I must have been writing my last post as you posted yours and missed it. I appreciate the words.

 

[VonYinzer]

Quit smoking pot. Dedicate yourself to this "dream". You are squandering away an opportunity tham thousands of kids never get. Grow up, quit getting high (insert broken record comment here), quit chasing pussy, and man the fuck up.

 

[Rocan]

von. working on it....

Ever since I broke up with the girl I told yall I fell in love with, well, i realized I really did love her and lost my drive to pursue any other girl. any one i did pursue ended in failure. so i stopped chasing. sort of lost interest in sex (didn't think the day would ever come).

As for the pot, working on it. It took me nearly killing myself from smoke inhalation to realize it, but pots boring as hell. You smoke a ton of it, feel good for a little while, then wake up the next day at 4pm feeling lazy and stupid. So I have lately been slowly weening myself off it. it would be too much and unrealistic to go from 5 years of smoking to nothing cold turkey, so im slowly cutting myself off.

I'd simply much rather spend the time working on my motorcycle or reading up on engine/suspension/frame/ anything design.

thanks. i needed this guys. I feel a lot better already.

In a way, I feel like having not been able to work on my bike for so long has taken more of a toll then anything. Most likely the reason that half of my bike reflects enough light to compete with the stars in the universe is because that hum of my buffer and other machines allowed me to meditate in a way that gave me a more amazing high then nearly anything, and i mean anything I have experienced in my life.

The few things I can think of that top is the feeling of the open road and the feeling of love; but in a way, isn't everything we do mechanically related love?

 

[66replica]

My first semester or two I didn't study much. I was used to being in a liberal arts major and thought I could get by with the same amount of effort. Any science/mathematical degree is going to require a good bit of studying. Some weeks I only did a couple hours, some weeks I spent 60-80 hours in front of a book. But, I'm a bit of a perfectionist.

You got this, dude. I went from barely making a C in Calc I to getting the highest grade in the class in Calc II and III.

 

[Staffy]

Rocan, I smoked like it was running out and I wanted to be the dude to smoke the last of it. After I quit though I found doing anything was much easier. And I mean the simple task of making breakfast almost seemed effortless. Drinking a little more often helped too but that's another story for another day. In fact getting off of all that crap that I used to take was worth it as being able to concentrate and have the motivation to achieve shit makes it worthwhile.

..and 66 Replica, I can assure you that pulling in 100% for my final piece of assesment this year in my "liberal arts major" was no easy task. But no offence taken brother. Just saying it's different courses for different horses, that's all.

 

[Rocan]

staffy, i know what you mean... I've already cut down from a daily twice minimum habit to about 3 times a week. which is still a lot, but nowhere near where I was.

right now I'm just trying to push through this studying. Slowly making some leeway, but still having difficulty.

 

[MNBikerPup]

Brother, I understand the struggles. I have been in school for 15 years off and on. I am also currently a student in pursuit of a bachelors in business. I failed accounting this semester after I retook and repaid after dropping the first time. It will get better. Seek out others on here that might be of assistance in some of the classes you are struggling with. They might just be able to put things into prospective that your professor could not. Once you have the degree, it'll make having your dream of bike building that much easier to obtain. Stay strong, we're all pulling for ya.

Another thing too, you're not the only one nor the last to struggle. Sometimes a bad semester is what you need to sober up a bit and take a different perspective of things. I started my bachelor path with a 4.0, got a little lazy and and over confident and now paying for it a bit, and now failing the class put new perspective on things on where I need to focus my energies. Keep it real. You're doing fine, and rant here and there is soothing for the soul.

 

[Hoofhearted]

Rocan, don't quit whatever you do. Different school, different ways of teaching. Stick with it and you'll adapt and see the light. Today is one day. The rest of your life is a lot of days. Today may be a shitty day but without a degree the rest of your days may be shitty too.

"As you travel the road of life my friend.

No matter what your goal.

Keep your eye on the donut

And not on the hole."

 

[Rocan]

Good words hoof...

I got the shirt ya sent me right up on my wall here... Been inspiring me every time I think about quitting school (thing is it doesn't persuade me either way, just makes me see that dream of yours and think of the day when I'll get to taste the salty success that you got to with your record setting bike).

 

[Hoofhearted]

A short story Rocan.

Graduated high school at 18. Registered for the draft (a problem you don't have to deal with thankfully). Spent two years in junior college trying to keep my student deferment. Lost it. Got drafted. Got 4Fed. Got pissed off. Went to Ireland to race bikes. A lot of beans on toast in order to go racing. Came home. Went land speed racing. Retired. Now on SS and a crappy pension from work.

I survived and had a great time (still having it) that I wouldn't trade. BUT. I would loved to have had a "career" that would have made everything I did a lot easier and give me financial security in retirement. As I said I'm surviving but racing now takes planning to make sure I can afford to do it. I see "smart" guys that go racing without having to give a thought to finances. Fight your way through the shit your encountering now and graduate.

When I was your age I couldn't see the future. I couldn't picture myself where I am now. But you will age. You have no choice. Try and plan for it. I don't mean to make it your sole target in life but keep it in mind. A degree will make life so much easier.

 

[Rgrpfdr1]

Rocan-the only way to stop something is to just man up and quit. Weening is for babies and their momma's tits. I've smoked, drank, etc. Time and a place though. @ 40 I've gone back to school full time on the GI Bill after being in the Army for 14 years. If you think Calc I is hard, try a patrol in the mountains of Afghanistan. Just sayin...

We're all in your corner, finish what you started and keep your chin up!

 

[Rocan]

thanks again guys. I really am taking it all to heart.

I'm just keeping the studying going... Slowly getting there. Taught myself U substitution and integration by parts in about an hour or two. thats what the majority of the test is on. Most of my issue comes from remembering the formulas and rules. I can plug in and solve all day, and manipulate formulas without any problem, but my memory is completely shot when it comes to these things for whatever reason.

I still got until 4:00 pm monday to learn this all. I figure if I get 60 percent on the test ill get an A. thats based off the past two test averages of around a 55 percent.


Damn I can't wait for it to be wednesday and I can go home to my sweet cb350 and... hint hint... get it done...

I mean, what else would I do now that I have an army veteran friend whos a master welder and has his own TIG setup whos willing to do all the work i need for nothing but beer and materials cost?

can you guys say stainless exhaust?

Oh yeah, then theres all the help I have access to for fiberglass work thanks to a fellow Formula SAE teammate...

Combine all that with two years of frustration of not having it done, a three week break, and being so close to completion that I can almost taste it...

yeah... that fucking thing is getting ridden before mid january.

 

[t71ford]

You know, man, having read through your posts over the past few years, I see a common thread: you have a really hard time focusing on any one end goal because you are too busy with your "other" diversions. Not saying that those are right or wrong, but they seem to keep you plenty occupied so that you never really seem to quite get where you are wanting to go. I think that you have reached this same conclusion. I think it would be in your best interest to focus on that problem and its eventual cure, and ignore all the diversions. It would get your bike built, and get your through college, too.

If you drop out to build bikes, I really think you would be bowing your greatest weakness. And I think that you would fail at that venture, too. Hell, you haven't even built one bike yet, how could you make a business out of it? Business ownership take a lot of focus and drive too--the kind you don't usually see from pot heads (jus' sayin' ).

But if you face this thing, and get it under control--to the point that you can focus on your priorities and goals, and only then make room for the "fun" stuff, then I think you could finish college AND build bikes if you wanted to. You have the brains and the ability, I am sure of that.

Until I read this thread, and had heard you say you would ride your bike in January, I would have smirked with the rest. Knowing that you know your problem, I say you might have a shot--might. Still, you are the night before your test, sitting on DTT...

Just my .02, though. I sincerely hope that you can get this together. I really wish you all the best of luck!

 

[Rocan]

Valid points t71...

yes, DTT is open, but meanwhile I'm studying calc. Its been hours and ive covered a LOT of material. if i dont balance it out with DTT then I'll go nuts.

Hmm, I'll have to disagree with you on the failing to complete things. I've done hundreds of little projects on the bike. Because its not done yet does not mean its all been for nothing.

For example: Rebuilding the forks was a project. Rebuilding the engine (and polishing half the damn thing) was an EXTREMELY involved project. its not running yet, but thats simply because I havent had the time to weld up headers and crank her over. I modified the swingarm. Thats done.

There are tons of other things I could name off. And in my defense, few people would even think about rebuilding a bike, let alone without having a guide to doing it and being only 15 years old.

and lets consider the multitude of other things ive done in my life....

Held a job and got through highschool. Taught myself how to work on 15,000 dollar carbon fiber road bikes and got assigned as the head mechanic at my shop by the time i was 16. Taught myself how to tune snowboards so I could help at the snowboard shop over the winter.

i could go on forever. Point is, I'm not the good old lazy stoner (heck, I've developed a bit of a reputation for myself here at rutgers because of my enjoyment of climbing trees for no reason other then myself finding it fun) you may think i am. Am i flawed though? yes, deeply. Do i agree with your points about not being able to build bikes for a living since i cannot build my own? to a point. I had a lot to juggle besides building my motorcycle the past two years.

But again, i take the advice to heart. You are right i have many other diversions. I suppose its my greatest flaw; i think of doing something, gain interest, and just do it. But in a way its made me a well rounded person. I can play guitar well enough to attract the attention of at least a few females. I can wrench well enough to be able to diagnose most any common problem. I can take photos well enough to show my work off nicely, and even make a couple of bucks on the side taking pictures of friends. And i did all of it with the same initial comments from my peers and family "its too hard to learn it on your own."

well, I showed them, didn't i?

Now, i suppose i'll shut my ranting young mouth and get back to my studying. Heck, I might as well prove you wrong ford

 

[Rocan]

(also no harm meant t71. your a good old chap... in a way I was writing that to remind myself of all the things I can do, and how fucking idiotic it would be for me to not be able to learn something as simple as a bunch of numbers and letters on a piece of damn paper)