This ad was on my local Craigslist for less than a day before it was flagged, but that was long enough for me to make a copy. I know it's a gag, but I still chuckle every time I read it.
Motorcycle for Sale
There comes a point in every man’s life where he feels the need to pass down some history or perhaps a legacy. For me, that time is now. For the low price of $700 you too may become a bad ass. This motorcycle is not just a mode of transportation; it is a way of life. The side of the gas tank says Suzuki which loosely translates to "Kick Ass Stealth Ninja Motorcycle". I stole this motorcycle from Chuck Norris after I gave him a swift roundhouse kick to the face. I also broke off his arm and signed the title with it to my name so it is all legit and legally mine to sell.
Some of the lens covers on the turn signals are broken, but if you think that stops me from turning you are sadly mistaken. The first rule I learned in the Mount Tokachi Ninja Training Camp was never tell your enemy what direction you intend to go. I have found this to be an excellent creed to live my life by.
I will not admit to how many of the miles have been used for ninja missions. However I can tell you that all of the 4693 miles are actual road miles.
There are a few rusted parts on this bike, but that only shows everybody how bad ass you are and that if they were to question you they could be killed instantly. Most of the parts could be replaced with non rusty parts if you wanted to blend in to the common mortal and practice stealth skills by hiding in plain sight.
This motorcycle has four speeds in the transmission and all of them are completely capable of causing instant death. I have known the common man to reach speeds of 70 mph, but I will not comment on the top speed that a skilled ninja rider may accomplish. This you shall discover on your own.
The gas cap on this motorcycle is locked by key. That tells possible gas thieves to screw off unless they are prepared to deal with a ninja ass kicking right to the face. If you are still uncertain of how bad ass this bike actually is you won’t need to look further than the front fender complete with skull and cross bones. The graphic tells sissy gutless men to take off or be prepared for punches of lightning to pour down upon them.
If you e-mail me asking about being "firm" on the price, I will tell you right now that I am NOT. $700 is only my starting price. You may want to pay me more after you see it in person. If you think you can e-mail me and ask me to sell if for less, you could just as well save me the effort and punch yourself in the balls because that is what I might do, and you are most likely a sissy and not worthy of this motorcycle. If you are from Africa and try to scam me, do not waste my time because I will swim across the ocean and find you in your dirty hut and judo chop you with an ultimate punch right to the face.
I may e-mail you more pictures if you need to see more. Ninja fighting weapons are not included.