Stressed out finals rant...

[Skuzzrat]

Rocan,
Good to know I'm not the only struggling student on the site. I'm 32 and working on a Biochemistry degree. Its been a long road, I originally started school at 18, but became a surrogate parent to my siblings for half a decade, forgetting my learning in that time. I picked the degree because it has a promising future, not cause I'm good at the subjects. Trying to grasp Science and Math concepts, while working and keeping the wife happy is hard sometimes (or all the time). It took 3 years in junior college to complete enough classes that transferring made sense. I did it this last semester, just to realize California schools have drastically cut back on classes and trying to get into one of the two Organic Chemistry classes available might set me back another semester or two.

One of my Chem teachers told us once that Science students are a different breed, because those subjects require the best out of you. For some reason that stuck with me.

Keep working at it, it helped me to take a 1 unit study class that explores how you best grasp the material. When it came to Calculus, it helped me to apply the concepts to real world things (like thinking of population growth or mechanical stuff). Hope things go well.

 

[t71ford]

No harm, no foul, man. Finals is a tough week.

I am not going to try to upstage you with accomplishments, or belittle the work you have done on your bike. But do bear in mind, that there are plenty of folks around here that had done the things you have (or more) well before they were out of high school. Everyone has talents.

Three+ years on a bike is nothing remarkable, though, regardless of how many "little things" you've got done. It might be impressive if you were still 15, but that ship sailed. There are lots and lots of guys around here doing what you've been, but in unheated tents in their backyards while supporting families--talk about having motivation! There are also plenty of folks here who worked full time jobs since before they were 15 just to support their families...them's the breaks, kid. You have to work if you want to eat (play, etc.).
My own personal secret to success is not to bench my success based upon my accomplishments as compared to others, but to measure them against how close they get me to a goal. It is just too easy to find someone that sucks at life worse than you to make you look good. But try measuring up against the guy that flat owns the area you are trying to get into? Pretty darn tough. In this way, I always can find room to improve.

Accomplishments are not really the point, though, are they? My point is that it doesn't really matter what you have done, if you can't do what you are really trying to do. Anybody can offer excuses for their failures, but it takes somebody with real ambition to correct that problem. I think you might be on the right track with your realizations of yourself. Only time will really prove it though, right?

I hope you understand this is honest, friendly advice. I mean no harm, just I think you have big problems (of your own making) to face. I hope you can best them!


Oh, but seriously, dude: don't defend your anti-stoner creds by telling us you "climb trees". kinda weak

Good luck tomorrow, David!

 

[Bozz]

Rocan,

As a Prof, let me point out a few things that every student should understand about "the system":

#1) ALWAYS stop by your prof's office (and your T.A. too) at least a few times a term. Your teachers are exposed to several hundred students a term and to be honest, most of them are a blur. Anything you do to link your face with your name in their subconscious is worth a half a letter grade. If they look at the test they are grading and recognize the name as that nice guy who stopped by for clarification a few times and really seems to be working hard at it, you tend to get the benefit of the doubt.

#2) your school likely has a student resource (ours is called "the learning center") to help you understand HOW you learn best. Some people are visual learners, others aural, others kinesthetic, and most are combinations. By better understanding how you learn best you can get A LOT more out of your study time. Sometimes figuring out some little tricks, like reciting formulae out loud, or writing out note cards to study, or setting a mnemonic device to a musical tune is all it takes. A little time given to better understanding how your brain works can give you a lifetime of benefit.

#3) A lot of folks assume that a technical discipline is inherently more difficult that "liberal arts" studies. My experience is that this is purely subjective. Both areas are extremely rigorous and rewarding. However, the technical disciplines do tend to have more wrote memorization in the early classes. This type of learning is very tedious and not terribly creative. As some minds NEED that creative edge, look for ways to make the memorization creative. You will reach the part of the discipline in a year or two where you once again get to be creative in how you apply the knowledge you are gaining now.

#4) Sometimes you just need to hear the information in another way or from another voice. There are websites out there with presentations on these subjects that may be very helpful to you. A really impressive one is "Kahn Academy". It is a reality that in academia, some of the best minds are not very good teachers. Thick accents, cultural mismatches and an overly focused approach can cripple your chances. (btw, the best thing you can do for this is #1 above)

#5) While I applaud your desire to reduce your "consumption", bear in mind that there are very real physiological effects of THC in your brain. You literally do not think the same way you do when sober. It IS affecting you. It IS harming your academic success. You are effectively choosing to give yourself a learning disability like ADD or dyslexia. (which you could have already in addition, and if so, the "learning center" suggestion would be very helpful)


To summarize (gee, I really sound like a prof now) it sometimes feels like you are wasting your time banging on a square peg, trying to get it into a round hole. If you feel this way, please understand that there may be ways to modify the shape of the hole, hone the shape of the peg, and get more efficient with your hammer. Most of these resources, however, are waiting for you to ask for them.

I hope your exam goes well for you!

 

[4eyes]

Rocan,

As a Prof, let me point out a few things that every student should understand about "the system":

#1) ALWAYS stop by your prof's office (and your T.A. too) at least a few times a term. Your teachers are exposed to several hundred students a term and to be honest, most of them are a blur. Anything you do to link your face with your name in their subconscious is worth a half a letter grade. If they look at the test they are grading and recognize the name as that nice guy who stopped by for clarification a few times and really seems to be working hard at it, you tend to get the benefit of the doubt.

#2) your school likely has a student resource (ours is called "the learning center") to help you understand HOW you learn best. Some people are visual learners, others aural, others kinesthetic, and most are combinations. By better understanding how you learn best you can get A LOT more out of your study time. Sometimes figuring out some little tricks, like reciting formulae out loud, or writing out note cards to study, or setting a mnemonic device to a musical tune is all it takes. A little time given to better understanding how your brain works can give you a lifetime of benefit.

#3) A lot of folks assume that a technical discipline is inherently more difficult that "liberal arts" studies. My experience is that this is purely subjective. Both areas are extremely rigorous and rewarding. However, the technical disciplines do tend to have more wrote memorization in the early classes. This type of learning is very tedious and not terribly creative. As some minds NEED that creative edge, look for ways to make the memorization creative. You will reach the part of the discipline in a year or two where you once again get to be creative in how you apply the knowledge you are gaining now.

#4) Sometimes you just need to hear the information in another way or from another voice. There are websites out there with presentations on these subjects that may be very helpful to you. A really impressive one is "Kahn Academy". It is a reality that in academia, some of the best minds are not very good teachers. Thick accents, cultural mismatches and an overly focused approach can cripple your chances. (btw, the best thing you can do for this is #1 above)

#5) While I applaud your desire to reduce your "consumption", bear in mind that there are very real physiological effects of THC in your brain. You literally do not think the same way you do when sober. It IS affecting you. It IS harming your academic success. You are effectively choosing to give yourself a learning disability like ADD or dyslexia. (which you could have already in addition, and if so, the "learning center" suggestion would be very helpful)


To summarize (gee, I really sound like a prof now) it sometimes feels like you are wasting your time banging on a square peg, trying to get it into a round hole. If you feel this way, please understand that there may be ways to modify the shape of the hole, hone the shape of the peg, and get more efficient with your hammer. Most of these resources, however, are waiting for you to ask for them.

I hope your exam goes well for you!

This post is worth much more than it's weight in gold!
I wish I had known this stuff when I was in college.

My favorite quote to live by, is from Collin Chapman. "Simplificate and add lightness"
Sure it works great as a design philosophy, but it also works for life in general. I often find that, when I am struggling, cutting out extraneous parts of my life make things manageable. 8)

And shoot for "ten hours a day" for studying, not "ten hours a semester".

 

[flatcurve]

Rocan,

Seeing a recurring theme in your posts about having an inability to focus, and I'm wondering if you've ever been evaluated for a learning disability like ADHD. For a lot of people in situations like yours who feel nearly powerless over it, this type of disorder is what drives it. There's a common misconception out there that it's only something that hyper four year olds get, but it's not true. It's worth looking into. I myself deal with it, and it's a constant struggle for me to stay on task. (case in point, I'm on this website and it's not during my lunch break) I can't take meds for it because of an underlying heart condition, but there are still other ways of managing it. A friend of mine was literally on the path to becoming a complete fuck up (and potentially in jail for violent behavior) until he got his diagnosis and treatment. He's now graduated with honors from Northwestern University grad school and is extremely accomplished and recognized in his field as an expert on learning disabilities and post traumatic stress disorder. He wouldn't have been able to do that if he never acknowledged the root cause of his abnormal behavior.

Take a look at this: http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

It's not about creating excuses for your behavior. It's about understanding what causes it, and correcting it in the future. Ultimately you're responsible for yourself, and the "I'm failing because I have ADHD" excuse only gets you so far. But there are ways to cope with it and manage your life that make things much easier. It's not impossible, even without medication.

Best of luck to you, man. As a guy working in the robotics field who saw his share of failed grades, I can assure you that it gets better (and easier.)

 

[Staffy]

I'm gonna probably get flamed for this but I feel thet ADHD is all rubbish and merely a diagnosis for western stressors on people. Not that it doesn't exist, but the actual problems associated with it and the disorder itself are all western problems. You don't find ADHD outside of developed countries. The reason for this is diet and environment.

I am an example of this. When I was younger i was expelled from school after being repeatedly suspended, thrown out of home, locked up at the age of 16 (overnight which was long enough for me to decide that was the only time I ever wanted to be locked up). I was abusive to other kids all through primary and high school and looking back I was impossible for my parents to manage.

After they kicked me out things changed. By the time I'd reached 20 I'd started looking at my diet, making real efforts to the way I think and deal with other people and generally wanting to better myself and get out of the repeated rut of homeless, in a house, homeless. The thing is that everything seemed much easier to deal with as environments changed. When I left home, after a while things got better, then I started getting stability in my life, a job, a stable home, etc. That's when I found that I wasn't so anxious and stressed out about everything and that the ADHD was going.

It's worth pointing out too that all these early problems were before I got heavily involved in drugs, however the drugs really didn't improve anything at all.

I wanted to write this as I'm always cautious when someone throws something out there that says you may have this or that disorder, when In actual fact, the dude may just be in his teens, is figuring out what he wants to do and can't focus on any one thing because he wants to do it all right now.

 

[Rimmy]

Rocan,

I've been in school for years now, and I too almost failed out during my first (and second) semester. I realized that if I didn't do well in my classes, then I couldn't achieve my life goals. So I sacked up and put my head into the books and got studying. If you really want something badly, you've got to work for it, plain and simple. Especially if your dreams are big.


However, reading your second post on this thread, I can easily identify your problem.

Though I do have to admit I spent all of about 10 hours this semester studying for anything (including the past three ive spent studying calc I).

If you don't study, you won't do well in your classes. Unless you are naturally gifted in something, you've got to put the time in. And even if you are gifted, if you want to be the best, you've still got to put the time in. Sack up next semester, and find a comfy spot in the library. Get to know your teachers and TA's, as they are there to help you learn. Bozz has some great suggestions and I would definitely follow them.

Good luck, and I hope you make the right choices.
-jordan

 

[ANVkevin]

#4) Sometimes you just need to hear the information in another way or from another voice. There are websites out there with presentations on these subjects that may be very helpful to you. A really impressive one is "Kahn Academy". It is a reality that in academia, some of the best minds are not very good teachers. Thick accents, cultural mismatches and an overly focused approach can cripple your chances. (btw, the best thing you can do for this is #1 above)

I'll be graduating soon with a BS in electrical engineering. I too, like most, struggled with Calc I, and chemistry. Take the advice above, it makes a great deal of difference. The Kahn Academy is the reason I passed calc I (hell, even used it when learning differential equations). You should really look into it.

 

[flatcurve]

I'm gonna probably get flamed for this but I feel thet ADHD is all rubbish and merely a diagnosis for western stressors on people. Not that it doesn't exist, but the actual problems associated with it and the disorder itself are all western problems. You don't find ADHD outside of developed countries. The reason for this is diet and environment.

With all due respect and civility, I couldn't disagree more. Honestly, I shared your opinion before I was diagnosed, and your viewpoint is fairly common in regards to adult adhd. But if it wasn't for the things I learned through cognitive behavioral therapy that I received as a result of that diagnosis, I'd be much worse off than I am today. That is something I can't deny. Whether we choose to call it an actual condition or dismiss it as a first world problem, the fact is that it's a developed pattern of abnormal behavior that is very real. A pattern of behavior that creates it's own feedback loops that make it very hard to break out of. Recognizing that is part of the process of overcoming it. It doesn't matter if we think it was caused by watching too much TV or if it has physiological roots. It's something that needs to be addressed one way or another.

That being said, I think medication is handed out too often, and too early. Medication can help somebody stay on task (arguably the biggest struggle with adhd) but there are still other things with the disorder that need to be addressed. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the best things any sufferer of adhd can do, especially adults. And for people like me who can't take prescribed speed to stay focused, it's the only thing that helps.

Honestly, I wish I had some boot straps I could grab on to that would just make my forgetfulness, distractability and disorganization go away, but no such luck. I spent years dodging responsibility because I knew that I was mostly incapable of it, but I didn't know why until I sought help. Now I'm the lead robotics guy at my company, and I've got more responsibility than I bargained for. I still struggle, but knowing why and having tools to manage it are very helpful.

fuck... I gotta get back to work

 

[MNBikerPup]

Rocan,

As a Prof, let me point out a few things that every student should understand about "the system":

#1) ALWAYS stop by your prof's office (and your T.A. too) at least a few times a term. Your teachers are exposed to several hundred students a term and to be honest, most of them are a blur. Anything you do to link your face with your name in their subconscious is worth a half a letter grade. If they look at the test they are grading and recognize the name as that nice guy who stopped by for clarification a few times and really seems to be working hard at it, you tend to get the benefit of the doubt.

#2) your school likely has a student resource (ours is called "the learning center") to help you understand HOW you learn best. Some people are visual learners, others aural, others kinesthetic, and most are combinations. By better understanding how you learn best you can get A LOT more out of your study time. Sometimes figuring out some little tricks, like reciting formulae out loud, or writing out note cards to study, or setting a mnemonic device to a musical tune is all it takes. A little time given to better understanding how your brain works can give you a lifetime of benefit.

#3) A lot of folks assume that a technical discipline is inherently more difficult that "liberal arts" studies. My experience is that this is purely subjective. Both areas are extremely rigorous and rewarding. However, the technical disciplines do tend to have more wrote memorization in the early classes. This type of learning is very tedious and not terribly creative. As some minds NEED that creative edge, look for ways to make the memorization creative. You will reach the part of the discipline in a year or two where you once again get to be creative in how you apply the knowledge you are gaining now.

#4) Sometimes you just need to hear the information in another way or from another voice. There are websites out there with presentations on these subjects that may be very helpful to you. A really impressive one is "Kahn Academy". It is a reality that in academia, some of the best minds are not very good teachers. Thick accents, cultural mismatches and an overly focused approach can cripple your chances. (btw, the best thing you can do for this is #1 above)

#5) While I applaud your desire to reduce your "consumption", bear in mind that there are very real physiological effects of THC in your brain. You literally do not think the same way you do when sober. It IS affecting you. It IS harming your academic success. You are effectively choosing to give yourself a learning disability like ADD or dyslexia. (which you could have already in addition, and if so, the "learning center" suggestion would be very helpful)


To summarize (gee, I really sound like a prof now) it sometimes feels like you are wasting your time banging on a square peg, trying to get it into a round hole. If you feel this way, please understand that there may be ways to modify the shape of the hole, hone the shape of the peg, and get more efficient with your hammer. Most of these resources, however, are waiting for you to ask for them.

I hope your exam goes well for you!

I agree with the part about the ease of degrees being subjective. A liberal Arts degree for me would be extremely difficult, why, because I wouldn't have a chance to use those skills while still a student. Technical on the other hand, I can use those skills. Look where you strengths and weakness lie and focus more on the weaknesses to strengthen them. Example: When I was studying for my Radiology License exam, I would take the full practice test, grade it, then analyze where I did the best in and where I did the worst. I would then focus on the worst and getting that up to par, then I would keep testing myself in each section till I could score 100% in each section, then I would take the entire test over again. I would keep repeating this until I could get a 100% in each section and on the entire test. I have used this technique in several large tests and it has paid off.

 

[MNBikerPup]

I'm gonna probably get flamed for this but I feel thet ADHD is all rubbish and merely a diagnosis for western stressors on people. Not that it doesn't exist, but the actual problems associated with it and the disorder itself are all western problems. You don't find ADHD outside of developed countries. The reason for this is diet and environment.

I am an example of this. When I was younger i was expelled from school after being repeatedly suspended, thrown out of home, locked up at the age of 16 (overnight which was long enough for me to decide that was the only time I ever wanted to be locked up). I was abusive to other kids all through primary and high school and looking back I was impossible for my parents to manage.

After they kicked me out things changed. By the time I'd reached 20 I'd started looking at my diet, making real efforts to the way I think and deal with other people and generally wanting to better myself and get out of the repeated rut of homeless, in a house, homeless. The thing is that everything seemed much easier to deal with as environments changed. When I left home, after a while things got better, then I started getting stability in my life, a job, a stable home, etc. That's when I found that I wasn't so anxious and stressed out about everything and that the ADHD was going.

It's worth pointing out too that all these early problems were before I got heavily involved in drugs, however the drugs really didn't improve anything at all.

I wanted to write this as I'm always cautious when someone throws something out there that says you may have this or that disorder, when In actual fact, the dude may just be in his teens, is figuring out what he wants to do and can't focus on any one thing because he wants to do it all right now.

Well, I won't be the flaming you. I was given that label of ADHD when I was young. When my parents told me I had it, I tanked hardcore. I became depressed, felt that I was stupid etc. I barely graduated H.S. and I have struggled since. Since returning to school, I have found that I'm not an idiot. Other things I have observed while volunteering time in my daughter's 1st grade class is this: Most of her classmates seem to be distracted in one degree or another at certain times of the class. So, that means that either ADHD is the human race's evolving or it's just BS.

 

[Basement rat]

that is all.

 

[Rocan]

good one garage rat. But I know MULTIPLE veterans who find finals stressful. Heck, one of them was so frustrated at one point that he had to take a long breather before he had a nervous breakdown. Shits hard, not physically, but mentally.

Update: Calc final done. did, well, ok. About twice as good as i would have done if i hadn't studied, and i figure *knock on wood* i passed the course.


Currently studying for physics final. should be a lot easier. I love physics.


Funny you should mention ADHD (ADD is no longer recognized as a condition, its all ADHD now). I Have been ADHD my entire life, but my mother simply did nothing about getting me medicated for a few reasons:

1. I never really struggled too much in school, till highschool when i began realizing i had a LOT of difficulty paying attention (not to mention how i was constantly hyperactive, something i figured i would have grown out of by then).

2. My mother taught special education for years, and is now an assistant principal. She (and me) agree that ADHD medication is handed out far too easily.

3. My mother is generally against prescription drugs (family history not so good).


Anyway, I've pushed my parents to have me evaluated for over two years now, and eventually my mom cracked and admitted to me that she knew I was ADHD since i was very young, but didn't want to admit it (thanks, mom). The past year or so I've been generally able to get my hands on a handful of medications (which, honestly, I never really abused; if i got a dosage from a friend that i deemed unnecessary, i would break the capsules/pills and measure out a proper dose). I had myself medicated properly for over two months towards the end of senior year highschool. My grades went up over 15 percentile.

Which, leads me to believe that I do in fact have ADHD.

Anyway, long story short, I'll be getting a prescription this month. the difference to me is light and day.

Do i think it should be handed out like candy? no. I think ADHD meds are way overprescribed and often to the wrong people. But to those who really need it, it's unbelievable the difference it makes.

 

[bradj]

Quit smoking pot. Dedicate yourself to this "dream". You are squandering away an opportunity tham thousands of kids never get. Grow up, quit getting high (insert broken record comment here), quit chasing pussy, and man the fuck up.

+1 when me and my wife just had my little girl i was working 14 or 15 hour days just to pay the
The bills my wife told me the frig was empty and we had no money tile pay day (2days away). i grabbed a pistol and left the house with no idea what i was gonna do other than get money for the market. Next thing i out side of the local drug dealer house, that i beat the fuck out of the week befor. I had every fucking intention of robbing that mother fucker. but after sitting in front of the house for a few mins i started my car and drove to the pawn shop and hawked my gun for market money. That is stress quite whinning quit wasting mommy and daddy money,grow the fuck up it is just a test. you got it pretty fucking good reality seems to dance all around you but never really hit,that may not always be the case. I made a choice to face my problem in front of a drug dealer house, when are you gonna make yours. Its a fucking plant not a reason it live. Not out to piss you off, take my post how ever you want

 

[flatcurve]

Anyway, I've pushed my parents to have me evaluated for over two years now, and eventually my mom cracked and admitted to me that she knew I was ADHD since i was very young, but didn't want to admit it (thanks, mom). The past year or so I've been generally able to get my hands on a handful of medications (which, honestly, I never really abused; if i got a dosage from a friend that i deemed unnecessary, i would break the capsules/pills and measure out a proper dose). I had myself medicated properly for over two months towards the end of senior year highschool. My grades went up over 15 percentile.

Which, leads me to believe that I do in fact have ADHD.

Anyway, long story short, I'll be getting a prescription this month. the difference to me is light and day.

Do i think it should be handed out like candy? no. I think ADHD meds are way overprescribed and often to the wrong people. But to those who really need it, it's unbelievable the difference it makes.

It's good that you're getting evaluated. It really is night and day. It's unfortunate that you weren't able to do so sooner, because good adhd treatment really is more than just popping pills. Bad adhd treatment is just a primary care physician giving a young child ritalin to keep them from being disruptive at school. That's the kind of shit that makes people think that it's not a real problem. Unfortunately, that happens all too often, and is probably why your mom felt that way.

Also, you should probably stop smoking pot and all that blah blah blah. Having a brain that refuses to shut up myself, I can see why you're drawn to it. So quitting is probably easier said than done. Best of luck!

 

[stonetree]

^^ that stressed me out.

 

[Basement rat]

Discovery has a show called "Curiosity". It has famous people narrating interesting questions and answers. Robbin Williams did one on Cocaine, Heroine, Speed and pot. They had trauma doctors monitoring actual users before and after getting high, documenting the short and long term physical and mental effects. It wasn't standing one way or the other about usage, just straight up informing you about everything.

http://www.discoverychannel.ca/episodeList.aspx?sid=34480

Very interesting! If you have net flicks or whatever, look it up!

 

[OpTiCz]

Not constructive, I know.
The only thing I can say is nothing comes easy. Though, its
much easier when you focus on the task at hand. Stop smoking pot and spend the money on a tutor.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk

 

[flatcurve]

Discovery has a show called "Curiosity". It has famous people narrating interesting questions and answers. Robbin Williams did one on Cocaine, Heroine, Speed and pot. They had trauma doctors monitoring actual users before and after getting high, documenting the short and long term physical and mental effects. It wasn't standing one way or the other about usage, just straight up informing you about everything.

http://www.discoverychannel.ca/episodeList.aspx?sid=34480

Very interesting! If you have net flicks or whatever, look it up!

I saw that. The stoner in that show was hilarious.

"I think that was the title of a moody blues song"

 

[Kanticoy]

I can't say anything here that hasn't been said before. I don't have ADHD. Focus and staying on task is something that I consider a strong point. There are a lot of things I'd like to say here, so stay with me if you'd like.

When I was in high school, I was a lot like you were. I was intelligent enough to not have to do shit to pass my classes. I never studied. I never did anything that took a little extra effort. A lot of the material came easily to me, so I just didn't bother. I skipped classes and passed. I made a 2230 on my SATs in one try. I got a full paid scholorship to the University of Alabama at Birmingham and went in as an English major with a studio arts minor. I smoked a lot of pot and fucked off like I always did and I failed miserably at the end of two semesters. I dropped out. I worked a lot of bullshit retail and food industry jobs while I lived in shit hole apartments and continued my self destructive lifestyle (self destructive because I wasn't benefiting anyone at all, not even myself). I did this for a few years and got absolutely nowhere. I made a lot of self proposed realizations and revelations that did absolutely nothing. I was a true punk/hippy. I wanted to fuck the man and I hated modern society for the way that it turned everyone into a sheep. I hung out with friends and we constantly debated and invented ways to change the world by socio-anarchic means and I thought I was happy. I had dreams and aspirations that I talked about all of the time...but never accomplished.

I was an idiot.

After 911 happened (no this is not a conspiracy story, or a slap in the face story, this was just the culmination of a lot of frustration) I was sitting down one night, a head full of long hair, a lung full of marijuana, and a beard that I could tuck into my shirt and something happened to me. I had a thought that my life's path was completely meaningless in relation to my benefit to myself, my family, the world, and the mark that I was making on the planet was about as lasting as a rain drop in the summer heat. I knew that if I was ever going to stick to anything career wise, I wasn't going to be happy unless it was making a difference somewhere. My family are all in the medical field. My parents are both registered nurses, along with my aunt, physician cousins, etc. Being the free spirit that I am, I wanted to be out in the world, so I started volunteering at the local fire department.

I went to EMT school and scored top of my class. I worked as an EMT for 5 years and went back for my Paramedic licensure and a degree in EMS. i worked 62 hours a week full time. I paid my own tuition. I also completed 550 hours of clinical rotations, and studied in between all of this. I made the deans list with a 4.0 GPA. After that I ended up taking a satellite course from the University of Baltimore Maryland for the CCEMT-P program (Critical Care Emergency Medical Transport) and was one of two in a class of 20 that passed.

I am not saying this to be self promoting, because I know for a fact that a lot of guys here are doing or have done what you are doing while paying a mortgage, raising a family, and keeping a wife happy and raising children. It is all about what you are motivated to do and where your priorities are. Think long and hard about your life. Don't make excuses about why you do something, or what you have done in the past, because none of it matters man, really. What matters is the mark you make on this blue planet, and the way your peers and your family view you as you trudge through life. Earn the respect of your fellow man. Be the best at what you do, and make sure that what you do makes a difference, not only in your life, but in the lives of everyone you meet and have contact with. The true value of a man is measured by his character and his respect for the world around him. This didn't make sense to me when I was your age. I was selfish and self promoting (not saying that you are). Succeed because you WANT to succeed. You are at the point in your life where no one is responsible for yourself but you. No one is going to be at fault anymore but you. You aren't stupid. I was you at one point. I made excuses for myself to NOT try as hard as I could. Honestly, when I decided to quit the drugs and the social life, I found more clarity and more ease of life than I had ever experienced. Like Maritime said, sometimes when you want more, you have to cut off the excess to move further.

In this thread alone, you have gotten enough insight to last a man a lifetime. Listen to these guys, they have been there. I wish I had this when I was 20. Now it's your turn, take the reigns or fall off of the fucking horse. You can sink or swim. You know what you need to do.