What's your funny/embarrassing bike story?

gsdapollo

gsdapollo

Been Around the Block
Ok, we all got em. That one time we did something totally stupid or embarrassing on our bikes so let's hear em. I got two:
1. I was doing just some normal maintenance on my bike one afternoon including changing the plugs, oil, compression test, etc. Well I was curious to test out Seafoam since I had heard good things about it so I decided to give it a try. So I ran a long tube from the intake into the bottle and turned the bike on, about 10-15 seconds go by and I check the bottle and its almost gone. I never expected the bike to suck it all up that fast so I knew it was going to take me a WHILE to get it all cleared out of the motor. Of course it immediately started doing the trademark smoke screen which was cool, plus a whole bunch of crap came out of the pipes which was even better. About 20 minutes go by and she's still smoking, so I decided to ride her around my community. I did that for about 10 minutes and still no let up on the smoke. So I decided, screw it, I'm going to head outside the gates and onto the main road. So I took her down the main road which is about 2 miles, turned around and started heading back. I looked in my mirror and saw the huge cloud of white smoke my bike was leaving behind and I thought, man I should get off the road before a cop pulls me over which would be bad since I never got a license. Sure enough, about 5 seconds after that thought crossed my mind, I looked in my mirror again and saw a cop car appear out of the smoke behind me. So I pulled into my driveway and he parked at the curb, he came up and said "I saw a cloud a smoke when I turned onto New Tampa Blvd, so I just followed it to your house." He then asked for my license at which point I explained that I didnt have one because I had normally ride dirt bikes (which was a lie, my roomate has three dirt bikes and since my garage door was open I just pointed at them as if they were mine lol) and that since you dont need a license to ride them I never got one. I also told him that I had just bought this bike a few months ago and have been working on getting it running which is why I still hadnt gotten my license yet. I explained the Seafoam thing and his response was "Well, I'm sure it's illegal." So he went back to his car, bought my story on riding dirt bikes and gave me warning and drove off.

2. I rode my bike to the gym one day, worked out for about an hour, then left. I was pulling out of the parking lot, about to turn right when all of sudden I got the absolute worst cramp in my left hamstring. I immediately started kicking my leg like crazy while trying to control the bike at the same time. Unfortunately I wasn't able to do either, never made the turn right, and ended up driving straight up the curb and onto the median strip at about 15 MPH. I stopped, kicked out the cramp, then noticed all the people staring at me since it was about 5:30 in the evening and it was rush hour. As soon as I was ready, I hauled ass... lol...

So those are my two moments of glory. Anyone else?
 
hahaha, thats pretty funny, i can picture the trail of smoke down the road, luckily you made a smoothe getaway from the cop hassle'n ya.
Ironicaly, i just posted a thread about what the deal with seafoam is, all i know is everybody keeps talking about the smoke.lol
 
Ha, thanks... Ya, I mean my motor ran pretty smooth before hand, I just wanted to try it out. I didn't see much improvement since, like I said, it was running great to begin with, but I had two black puddles sitting behind my exhaust when it was done so it definately cleaned it out a bit. Im going to run it through my Jimmy one of these days, she's got 206,000 miles so I'm sure she could use it.
 
Oh I got bunches of 'em. This was last Summer...

While I'm sitting in line waiting to get my inspection sticker today, a very nice gentleman approached and complimented me on my Hayabusa. Through the conversation he said the last bike he had was a '76 Norton Commando. He said he used to take it to the coast all the time and loved riding it. But when his brother-in-law was killed on his own bike, he sold the Commando out of respect for his wife. That was about 6 years ago. He said he really missed that bike, especially on days like today. He asked the usual questions, like "how fast is it?", and "how fast have I been on it?". But he also inquired about the gear, and agreed when I explained the philosphy of Sweating vs. Bleeding. He also asked if I was one of 'those guys' that do 100mph and wheelie through traffic? I assured him I was not. After talking to him for about 10 minutes, he wished me "safe riding" and bid me farewell.
A minute or two later, one of the two attendants approached and asked for my license/registration/proof of insurance, and asked me to step into the booth (without ever checking anything on the bike... at all ). While in there he mentions that his partner is "a motorcycle guy too. He rides a Harley". About that time the partner walks over. The first attendant asks the 'Harley guy' what he thinks of my bike. To which he replies, "Bahhh, I had enough of Jap bikes... every accident I'd ever been in was because of 'one of them'... and I've been in plenty. Now I got me a Harley and I just 'ride'."
I'm just smirking in my helmet.
He then proceeds to tell me how his buddy got killled because of "one of those helmets". I asked "one of these helmets?" He replied, "Yea, one of those 'full face' helmets. He went down on River Rd... not too fast... but when he hit the grass, that heavy helmet twisted his head and broke his neck".
I figured since he was going to give me propaganda crap, I was going to mess with him. And so I did...
He then asked "how big is that thing?". I held my hand up to my waist and said "'bout up to here". He paused for a second with a blank look (I'm sure he was giving the hamster time to climb back on the wheel) and said "No, how big is the engine?". I held my hands roughly 2' apart and said " Oh... 'bout like that". (the hamster only stumbled on that one) He quickly corrected with "I mean the engine size". After I told him it was a 1300, he says "eh, it's a fast one... too fast". I said "Yea, not everybody can handle 'em. I suppose that's why they make Harleys." He just glared.
While all of this is going on, the first attendant is filling out the paperwork and just grinning from ear to ear.
The Harley guy then proceeds to explain how girls will approach you on a Harley and ask for rides, and that he had one approach him while he was parking his bike (at one of the casinos, I forget which) and told him how much she loved his bike, and how gorgeous it is, and how he really needed to take her for a ride... and she gave him her business card and said to call her sometime.
Right about then the attendant gave me back my paperwork/new inspection sticker and said "sign here..."
While I complied I told the Harley guy, "Girls say the same things to Sportbike riders too. The only difference is they're younger... and have all their teeth".
The first attendant choked on a laugh. I turned to him smiling and said "Thank you very much", and then turned to Harley guy smiling and said "Y'all have a nice day".
While I was climbing back on the bike, Harley guy walks over and sarcasticly says "try not to go too fast and kill yourself". I winked and said "No problem... you try not to get too drunk and kill somebody else".

From the Open Minded to the Narrow Minded... Ya gotta love People


And then just the other day, I'm riding around on my Two Stroke DS7 when this treehugger in a Prius pulls up next to me and informs me that my motorcycle is "smoking badly", and I "should have it fixed because it's polluting the enviroment". I leaned over and told him "It's a Green Vehicle. It smokes because it runs on Veggie Oil".
He says "Oh, COOL! Have a nice day!", and drove off.

Sometimes the Comedy just finds YOU :D
 
VonYinzer said:
Lots of beer + 82 CB750 + neighbors bushes + steep hill = bad news.
Click to expand...

lol Kinda like this?

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"And then just the other day, I'm riding around on my Two Stroke DS7 when this treehugger in a Prius pulls up next to me and informs me that my motorcycle is "smoking badly", and I "should have it fixed because it's polluting the enviroment". I leaned over and told him "It's a Green Vehicle. It smokes because it runs on Veggie Oil".
He says "Oh, COOL! Have a nice day!", and drove off."


LOL, thats hilarious. You shoulda been like "doesnt it smell like french fries?"
 
Well in AL you can get a MC license at 14. So I got mine and a little rebel 250. I thought I was so cool! I used to get out of school and go to the store where all the other kids went to get a coke and chips or what have you, their parents would bring them and I would roll up on my bike! You can all relate I am sure of how cool I “new” I was! After that I would cruise by the park and stop by one of the benches. I would peel off my helmet and light up a smoke while all the cheerleaders were practicing. I was such a rebel on my rebel! I was really hoping that none of the adults that come by would tell my folks I was smoking! Hahaha! Anyway, one day during this normal routine as I went to leave, and throttle the hell out of it to get the looks as I left, a loop at the end of my jacket sleeve got hung on some of the hand controls. I was very new to street bikes and kinda panicked! As I did I lost control of the bike and went into the ditch, jumping out the other side. I fell off in air (which was not high, but still scary on a rebel) and the bike landed on its side in the gravel lot on the other side of the ditch. I was not hurt at all, and the bike was just scratched a little more that it already was and broken signals. I jumped up and ran over to the bike and started as quick as I could and pulled off! As I was pulling away I saw the cheerleaders all standing there looking at me and the female coach running to my aid! I just drove home as fast as I could. Needless to say, I never felt as cool anymore! People talked about it for months!
 
last year.... we host an ovirain cancer run... over 350 bikes (most of my customers) every time the guy got on the bull horn to announce what was going on, i pop the clucth and just let out a huge burn out.... did it prob like 10 times... to the point where people where like, "man this kids an idiot".... well everything starts to move. my buddy still has his kick stand down, riding next to my brother, i freak thinking he is going to high side and wipe my brother and his chopper out... i nail it to catch up to tell him.... grab too much front brake, and wash out! in front of everyone i am sliding across the ground on my harley.... super embaresing... picked that sucker back up and got on the road... my buddy snapped a picture.
notice the scratched up clutch lever and the saddle bag... and the look of stupidity on that idiot on the bike!
100.jpg
 
That prius story is AWESOME. There are a lot of those people here in Bozeman, and they generally cause a lot of hate and disconent among the motorized toy people. I love that story!
 
REDBIRD- both of your stories were hilarious man, good job on handling the situation, wish i could seen both in person.lol.

TWISTED- also good story man, awsome memories.
 
The green idiot stories are funny and kind of surprise me.

I live in a very eco-minded town, especially compared to the rest of Michigan, and I get a lot of props from people who drive fuel-sippers. At least around here they've figured out that a classic bike 1) is a kind of recycling; no new batteries and molded plastics like in a Prius, and 2) get equal or better fuel economy for tooling around town; I can easily get 45mpg on my 30 year old scoot when I'm not riding the hell out of it.

Instead of the idiot yells, I get sheepish excuses. "Well, I'd love to ride a bike or scooter for the mileage, but I have to haul the kids/am afraid/don't know how/ worry about bad weather/ whatever." That's satisfying.
 
gsdapollo I feel your pain.
I was parked outside my gym. while standing next to the bike I went to start it and had forgotten that the bike was in gear...so the bike lunges forward landing on me as I attempted to keep it from landing on the ground...I managed to keep it up but my ego was shattered. It was made worse when one of the cute gym attendants came out and offered me a bandaide while trying not to die laughing.
 
Hell, I can play this game.

20 years ago my first bike was an RZ250. I am on my way home and have pulled up at the lights next to the local High School just as everyone is getting out for the day. Lots of sweet young things waiting to cross the road, the lights go green and I give it a handfull. Bike takes off at warp speed for about 5 metres and hits a false neautral, engine screams and I have a brain snap and rip it up into second,,,,,,,,,,,,, front wheel goes skyward and I am shooting off down the road at Mach 1 on the back wheel. I managed to keep it from flipping and got the front wheel back on the deck. I pulled up around the corner with my heart going a million miles and hour and having to take a few minutes for the adrenalin to dissapate.

Now to Tuesday just gone, I have ridden into town on my CX alll kitted out in my Cafe Racer gear. Pulled up to drop a movie off and gone to start the bike and a dead battery. So there I am jogging down the road pushing the bike to bump start it in afternoon traffic. Had a guy ask me what was wrong with it as I was taking a breather, I told him it was a race bike and didn't have a starter motor to save on weight.
 
Also... The earliest one...
80s Honda 250 3-wheeler + 9 year old + no real working brakes + apple tree + cute older girl (i learned early ;)) - helmet (it was the 80s!) = headache, and the horrible pain of listening to your dream girl giggle uncontrollably...
 
Pure awesomeness, everone, loving these stories!

My first one is a dirtbike thing, running around the good ol' Aussie bush with my mates. Come up to this 3' high log that I just went around. One mate wheelies up to it then uses the back wheel to bring the front down, then spins the rear up and over the log! Other mate tried the same but ended up 'Superman'-ing over the bars haha. He was ok. I'm still laughing and going round a gentle corner when I wipe out hardcore on loose gravel. Felt so damn stupid, after they found out I was ok my mates had a good laugh at my n00b mistake.

Second was my little GP-bred stroker, the Aprilia RS125. God I loved that thing; my first bike, I built it from a wreck and it went like hell. Coming back from my Dads place, just about to hit the mountains. Clutch cable snaps...f***! I had 120 miles to go so pulled over and called Dad for help. He rocks out in his truck and takes me into town to get a new cable. They can't do it so I tried fixing it at his place. After all that, its getting on nightfall and he suggests just going clutchless for the run back. I couldn't believe it was that simple, I felt so dumb right then. So I take off, promising to call him when I get back to my place, trundling through town getting used to clutchless shifts (and starts!). When I hit the mountains I had the biggest grin on my face - I was running an unpacked race muffler with an upjetted Dellorto carb and free-filtered airbox...and no clutch! Shifts at 10,500~11,000rpm only, otherwise I'd miss the start of the pwoerband at 8k. The night lit up with the song of my frantic little 125cc single. Damn it was fun. When I got home I made a promise to fix the bike ASAP. That didn't happen for a few months haha, just kept bump-starting it and doing the GP shift routine. I wised up eventually, repacked the muffler and replaced the clutch cable, but gee it was fun while it lasted...if a tad embarrassing at lights.

Cheers - boingk
 
that prius story had me rolling!

My story is the first time I rode. rebuilt the carbs on the cb750, but since it had no kickstart, I drained the battery getting it to run. Not knowing this, my dad took it out for a spin to see how it ran. 15 minutes later, he comes walking home, all pissed off and went straight for the case of Budweiser (exercise isn't his forte). I drove out to where he parked it, pulled the dead battery and charged it back home.

A storm rolled in and I needed the bike back in the garage. Needless to say, my dad was shitfaced and I had to get it home. Not bad, only three blocks away, three right turns home. My parents driving behind me, I jump on the 750 and start it up. At this point I've never ridden a motorcycle, but I did know how to drive stick. So I walked it through the first turn, picked up speed. a little quicker around the second turn. both legs up on the third. I live on a hill so i needed some speed to make sure I wouldn't stall. I approached my driveway only to remember that I had to take a left turn. never done one before so BAM! it went straight into the rock hill and bushes. it was low speed so I jumped up to give the thumbs up to my parents who thought I looked ridiculous shooting a 700 pound motorcycle into bushes, then get up and pull a Fonzee.
 
Rodders said:
Hell, I can play this game.

20 years ago my first bike was an RZ250. I am on my way home and have pulled up at the lights next to the local High School just as everyone is getting out for the day. Lots of sweet young things waiting to cross the road, the lights go green and I give it a handfull. Bike takes off at warp speed for about 5 metres and hits a false neautral, engine screams and I have a brain snap and rip it up into second,,,,,,,,,,,,, front wheel goes skyward and I am shooting off down the road at Mach 1 on the back wheel. I managed to keep it from flipping and got the front wheel back on the deck. I pulled up around the corner with my heart going a million miles and hour and having to take a few minutes for the adrenalin to dissapate.

Now to Tuesday just gone, I have ridden into town on my CX alll kitted out in my Cafe Racer gear. Pulled up to drop a movie off and gone to start the bike and a dead battery. So there I am jogging down the road pushing the bike to bump start it in afternoon traffic. Had a guy ask me what was wrong with it as I was taking a breather, I told him it was a race bike and didn't have a starter motor to save on weight.
Click to expand...


I had my battery die in the middle of intersection once too, I then had to push it home for about two miles. I had a bruise on my shin for about a month after that from hitting the damn footpeg every other step.
 
gsdapollo said:
I had my battery die in the middle of intersection once too, I then had to push it home for about two miles. I had a bruise on my shin for about a month after that from hitting the damn footpeg every other step.
Click to expand...

as have I my friend as have I
 
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