Beachcomber's Tales from the day

I'm not sure if this fits this thread but I'll throw them up here for the hell of it. My wife was cleaning out the closet in the spare room. She found some negatives in some papers so I went and got them developed to see what they were. Turns out they were from a road race at Faugheen, Tipperary in 1975. The first (fuzzy) is on the start line waiting. Coming out onto the straight and the third shot is the long suffering better half getting some food ready. It looks like spaghetti and meatballs. Probably as it seems to be the staple diet at race meetings. We had spaghetti and meatballs at Bonneville this year. Poverty level racing doesn't change much. The Garelli had a Minarelli cylinder fitted. Made it fly. Revved to 12,000 and the crank life could measured in minutes.

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Just putting the finishing touches to the "Two Manx engines ..............." tale - will be here in the next 24 hours or so.

I'm also refreshing the "Fishing for Gold Stars" tale as it was originally poted ...somewhere where I can't find it!

Swan - you should read that one given your superb rebuild thread. It WILL make you weep ............
 
Wait no longer Dave .......... 8)

Here it is then, the latest tale. I am revamping the "Fishing for Gold Stars" tale, as I found the original shortened version on another thread, so I don't think that will spoil the effect. :D :D

Beachcomber’s Tales from the Day – March 2011

“The Two Inter Norton Engines, Half a Manx Engine, an Isetta Bubble car and a Wheelbarrow”

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This is a gentle tale, no rib tickling black humour with people being nearly killed or maimed – just shows what a pleasant era the Sixties was to live through.

So …….. Roy’s still in hospital and I’m busy fitting the Manx engine into my rolling chassis. I had no workshop, garage or even shed during this period – living with my Nan in a terraced house in Dagenham [ English home of Henry ]. If I needed to work on something mechanical, if it was small enough to carry through the house and into the back garden, then that was it. If it rained sometimes my Nan would take pity on me and let me use the kitchen table as a workbench. Even the tiny front garden was pretty inaccessible – so most of my work was carried out on the pavement [ sidewalk ] outside my Nan’s. This was not as bad as it seemed as we had a streetlamp almost outside allowing me to work after dark, and a storm drain grating in the gutter – which was ideal for draining engine / trans oil down [ environment – what environment ! ]

So this particular session went into the evening darkness as I wanted to get the bike on the road for the following night’s antics up the Bye-Pass and to protect the [ at the time ] Crown of having the fastest bike up there. Just to add to my deep joy, the torch I was using gave up the ghost AND it started to piss down with rain. The long suffering next door neighbour came home from work and took pity on me and loaned me his 12v extension lamp and the use of his car’s battery. I then rigged up a cover from some tarpaulin and old tent poles and carried on working. Bear in mind that the road I lived in was quite busy with both vehicles and pedestrians – so it was quite a bizarre sight! The main cause of my frustration was that I had to set the cam verniers [ wot a laugh a minute eh Hoof !]. I had to do all this without the aid of a manual, and learning as I went along and using my engineering logic. In retrospect this is no doubt why I had previously clipped so many inlet valves.

Several bikes and cars went by with drivers waving and shouting encouragement, but one guy in an Isetta Bubble car made 2 or three passes before eventually stopping. I guessed that he had stopped to give me a bollocking for taking up half the pavement, but no – he came over and asked if I was having trouble with the engine, and could he help. This guy was not your typical biker, in fact he was more like the original 7 stone weakling accountant / banker / clerk. Anyway, it soon became obvious that he knew his way around the Manx engine and soon had the cams set AND he stayed until the job was finished.

My Nan did her usual sterling job of keeping me going with coffee [ not a tea bagger me ] and buttered toast and extended the courtesy to my new found mate. While we were sitting over a coffee, he asked me if I would be interested in some International Norton engines and odd gearboxes and various spares that he no longer needed. I think my financial status was probably obvious from the fact I was working outside in the pissing rain and said I would have to decline as I couldn’t afford to buy the stuff – much as I would have liked to have it.

“No need for money” he said “Anyone who is as enthusiastic as you to work under these conditions deserves a break”.

With that, I naturally said how could I refuse such an offer, and the whizzed [ or was that “wheezed”] our way to his house in his little Bubble car. For those of you not familiar with this Microcar – it had a single opening door hinged on the front and the driver and passenger sort of clambered into the seats around the steering column. His house was only 10 minutes round the corner – albeit in the “posh” part of Dagenham – with semi-detached houses no less. He took me into a fully lit [ and bone dry ] garage which was fully equipped with all manner of machinery, welders and such. He raised a tarpaulin in the back of the garage and there was a pristine AJS 7R! I nearly came on the spot. Still the guy looked like no racer and when I asked the obvious question, it transpired that he had built the bike up for Tom Kirby – who became well known as a privateer entrant [ Bill Ivy amongst others ]. Just as a slight diversion – I went on to become friendly with Tom and ended up with many of his “leftovers” – usually for nothing or close to. What was an amazing sight was to see his workshop manager riding his Aerial Golden Arrow – he only had one arm ! Tom built a very trick Triumph 350 [ Tiger 90 ] to campaign on the Island [ remember that one Hoof?] It used a lot of Titanium and other exotic materials. Never had the success it deserved and after a couple of Island outings it was backburnered. Not before I ended up with some very trick bits for my reversed head Triumph 350 Sprint Bike !
Digression over ………………….

Under another tarpaulin were half a dozen engines neatly stacked – mostly of Norton persuasion. It transpired that he was in the process of switching over his tuning / building skills from the Norton marque to AJS and Matchless [ specifically for Tom Kirby ].

He then indicated which engines I should pull out from the stack and put on one side – Two Inter engines and Half a Manx. [ bottom end.] There were also 2 boxes of assorted valves, springs, con rods, 2 gearboxes and odds. It was about this time that I just happened to mention that I didn’t own a car or van! It was also just as obvious all this lot couldn’t go in his little Isetta…………….


Then it was one of those light bulb moments – “Could I borrow that wheelbarrow I saw in the garden?” By now it was nearly midnight – still pissing with rain but I was so happy with my haul I could have cared less.

Just on the last trip and who should show up but local plod – on his bicycle. “Allo. Allo, Allo, what’s all this then” asks Sherlock. “Just been down the allotment [ public gardens where you could produce veg / flowers ] to do a bit of weeding / clearing up” says I. With that, he looks in the wheelbarrow, shakes his head and rides off without saying a word……..

Three trips [ 2 miles each trip ], and I finally had all my swag back at my Nan’s [ boy wasn’t she happy! ] and traipsed it all through the house into the back garden under yet more tarpaulins.

About this time I had really fallen in lust with the Constellations – very underrated and because of that – cheap, as nobody wanted them! Well in the Café Racer society anyway.

It was also obvious that my various Nortons [ Manx and Inter ] were no match for the faster bikes up the Lay Bye, so one of the Inter engines and some spares were swapped for the ex. Bob McIntyre Thruxton Connie. Although this was already a race bike [ Production ] – apart from a very quick engine which was blueprinted along with the gearbox for maximum efficiency, it was otherwise a standard looking road bike. That didn’t last long ………
 
Another awesome story, Beachcomber. Loving them all so far. Haha, the old Isetta's - don't forget that as well as having a door on the front, they don't have a reverse gear, which can provide lots of laughs when someone pulls into a shed/garage/against a wall etc. and realises they are trapped in until someone pushes them backwards.
 
Stories like that are hard to believe nowadays. But having been there I can attest to its truth. When I went to Ireland in 1967 I lived with an uncle and aunt. Their tiny garage was packed out to the door so the Norton lived outside and any work done to it was also done outside. The mention of a tarp brings back vivid memories. The garage door had two small windows. I ran a couple of long screws into the lip and hung the tarp from themand a string out to the streetlamp. I stumbled across an article on cam timing for Inters and Manx. It included detailed instructions for vernier settings and made me feel like a master tuner!

But I've never had the good fortune to run into anyone with a load of Inter or Manx bits they want to give away. The closest I got to that was a friend who was a Velo freak (Tony D'Arcy) who's house was literally filled with Velos. The last time I was there I counted 14 Velos between the front room, living room, dining room and kitchen. He had found a pre-war Inter engine and sold it to me for 10/-.

Great story BC. I'm still giggling at the vision I have of you running back and forth in the middle of the night with a wheelbarrow full of engine bits!!

P.S. BC, After I moved out of my uncle's place I found myself in a one bed, shared ktchen/bathroom flat. The road going Manx got built in relative luxury! The BRS at the bottom of the photo was a bit of a joke. As you know Nortons made BRS models in the 20s. Stood for Brooklands Racing Special. Mine stood for Bedroom Racing Special.

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It's all your fault Hoof - until you started posting your "pix from the day" I had all but forgotten the first Mrs.B. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had literally 1000's of pix from the era. I was a keen photographer along with my then Brother in Law. About the only usefull thing Mrs.B #1 did [ apart from providing me with a beautiful Daughter ] was to work at Ilford films - the poor brother to Kodak.

As Kodak was renowned fo it's colour films, Ilford was master of the Black and White. But by some anomoly the Kodak colour patent [ maybe a US vs Uk thing?] had to renewed every year, and took 48 hours to renew. During that period every year Ilford banged out as many films [ 35mm ] to the Kodak formula as they could! Naturally the staff got first dibbs on these and the staff rate at the time for a 36 image 35 mm film was something lunatic like 10 pence [ black and white was 5 pence ] - a couple of cents. I used to get £2's worth for me and my brother in law EVERY WEEK. This also included the reverse film for colour slides AND for some peculiar reason, that price included processing and mounting!

Yes, 1000's of images - all went up in flames when Beachcomber and Mrs.B the second drove off into the sunset.............

Strange thing is I can still vividly see these images in my head. There's one that I really would give a testicle or two for was of me on my Connie at Brands passing [ yes really ] Derek Minter on his 350 Manx going into Clearways.......... Now they say a picture never lies .... Well in this instance, yes I did honestly pass Minter going into Clearways - good job it wasn't a movie otherwise you'd have seen the overenthusiastic Beachcomber - arms and legs flailing in all directions on the grass on the outside - heading for what was in those days great big fuck off railway sleepers [ health and safety where where you then ??]. The amazing thing was that I managed to stay aboard, right up to the point the bike stopped and then I gradually and gently toppled over! Yes, I was no real loss to circuit racing !
 
B,


Thank you so much for these wonderful tales! I just stumbled into this thread , looked for "Fishing for Gold Stars" but cannot find it !?!
 
Hey Swan, glad you liked 'em. I've had a ball reliving them in my mind. ;)

Now then, the original "Fishing for Gold Stars" was only a taster in a totally different thread. As a result of that little tale I had people contacting me asking for more tales - that's where we're at. 8)

Rather than spoil it for you - I'm half way through building the story into a fuller version as the others and I'll post it sooner rather than later. I had originally intended to something like 1 a month so as not to bore the ass of people.

I can tell you it was a real hoot at the time and like all the tales - brings back to mind some of the fantastic mates I had back then. It's almost like therapy !!!!!

As you know I had several Goldies back then, and there is another story involving a pal's Goldie - "How to Tow a Gold Star" ......................
 
Sorry I remind you of the first Mrs. B!!! If thats the case you are a braver man than me for marrying her!!! I only have a few photos from the period as I was on the other end of the spectrum. Photos were expensive for the average Joe. So they were not taken lightly. Sorry I always wanted to use that phrase in a reference to photography. I only have a few photos of the period. You are right! "It was a hoot at the time." So many things have changed and not all for th better.
 
Yeah Hoof, the wife and I were talking the other day. And we wish we had taken a lot more photos back when. At the time you think,"No big deal, we do this all the time, we'll take pics next time."
 
Yeah its funny. At the time photos were a luxury. In my early teens here in SoCal I used to go to the various dragstrips we had here nearly every weekend. But we were always broke. I had an old Brownie box camera and Dennis and I would split the cost of a roll of film and developing. I'd take 8 photos and he'd take 8 photos.

When I went over to Ireland things were a lot more expensive. So taking photos was something done with care. Had I known that that era would be of interest 40 years later I'd have taken a lot more. And true, we didn't think of it as a "big deal" I've often thought of puting up the photos I have but I never thought therewould be any interest. Maybe there would.

A former racing buddy put some photos up on facebook. This one I found evocative. Its the Dunboyne road course. A fantastic place to race now unfortunately destroyed by urban developement and a freeway.

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I'd fully intended to spread these tales out so other folk could join in, but this one's especially for Swan ..................................

Beachcomber’s Tales from the Day. 1st March 2011 [ happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me ………………….]

“Fishing for Gold Stars”.

Like all the other tales, this one is as it happened and is first hand, as I was that Fisherman!

As you may now know by now, the “Blinking Owl” was one of our favourite Caffs – tucked away in beautiful countryside in rural Essex. It was only a 20 minute hard ride from the Lay Bye and another popular Caff - “Ted’s” on the Southend Arterial road at Gallows Corner. And yes, it was the site in the 17th and 18th centuries of a hanging gallows.

Once you were off and away from the Lay Bye and the Arterial, you were almost immediately into countryside, with mile after mile of glorious swinging bends. The bonus was that they were very quiet roads, and in the evenings [ apart from Harvest time ] free from tractors and farm implements. A lack of street lamps was also handy as at night you could see well ahead if there was any oncoming traffic and take liberties with “correct” lines on apexes. 8)

The Owl was also a hotbed of rogues – you could always find a part for your bike as long as you didn’t enquire as to it’s origin ! One guy made a business of driving around various Caffs in the area and literally taking orders for parts. Usually late desirable stuff, like Bonnies, Goldies, and such. Yes we knew it was wrong, and yes, we should have reported him to the old Bill and YES we shouldn’t have encouraged him by buying parts from him – but who’s perfect eh? Our only defence was that late model bikes were always insured ……………………..

OK, base picture painted. On this particular evening he was touting Goldie parts – and even had the exact spec of what was obviously 2 bikes – a 350 and a 500. Nothing if not industrious, this guy would “obtain” the bikes and whizz them into the back of his old Thames Trader van and 2 of his mates would be busy stripping them down as he made his rounds to the “buyers” at the various Caffs.

Anyway, it became obvious that his antics were not unknown to the Old Bill, and on this particular evening as he pulled into the Owl car park, two Zed cars with Essex’s finest screeched in behind him. However in their zeal, they had omitted to note that the car park was mostly gravel [ caught a few bikers out as well ] and were travelling way too fast. In true Monty Python style the first plod car ploughed straight on through the gravel when he hit the brakes, demolishing an Ajay CSR and a BMW R65 outfit [ with Steib chair]. :o The second car managed to avoid the carnage, but only succeeded in slamming into the wooden veranda at the front of the Caff, bringing down part of the lean to roof. One of the guys who was sat on the Beemer and his girlfriend in the chair were slightly injured with the whole outfit pushed on it’s side. Whilst all this was going on, matey in the Thames roared out the other side of the car park spraying even more gravel everywhere. Just as we thought he’d had it away on his toes, another two police vans pulled into the Owl. After some rapidly shouted instructions from the Zed car boys [ cars now totally immoveable ] the two vans set off in pursuit of the Thames van with the Goldies aboard.

We later heard that he had managed to outrun plod and dumped the Goldies off over the side of Passingford Bridge into the river below some 3 miles from the Caff.

Now I’d never be involved in deliberately stealing a bike, but I reasoned what if I simply collected a bike that had already been stolen? ;) ;)

So, a couple of nights later [ 3 am in the morning in fact! ] my mate Joe and myself went off to Passingford Bridge in his works Bedford van, armed with a big grappling hook and a length of heavy rope. The Owl always turned out by 2 am, so we thought we’d be pretty safe from any passing traffic at this unearthly hour. We’d made several passes on one side of the bridge without any luck and had just started casting the hook on the other side when up rides plod and he had actually stopped and got off his bike before we even realised he was there - LE Velocettes eh?. Oh fuck.

“What are we up to here then lads” asks Sherlock ……Fortunately for us we had no joy in finding the Goldie, so there was no actual evidence of wrong doing. “Ahh, just doing a spot of fishing” says the optimistic Beachcomber, pointing to the length of rope over the side of the bridge. “At 3 in the morning” enquires plod. “Yes we got carried away – you know what it’s like, my mate here had to work until 10 pm last night and has had no supper” . With one of those sarcastic smirks on his mush he says - “So let’s see what tackle you’re using” and with that we have no choice but to bring up the GBFO grappling hook on the end of the rope. “Ahhha, there’s your problem” he says “far too big for anything in this river, AND you’ve got no bloody bait on the hooks”. With frighteningly realistic horror BC commented - “ Oh bejeezus Joe – the bastards have had the bait”. ::)

By this time plod was loosing his patience – and the encounter wasn’t going his way – “OK lads, you’ve had your fun, now fuck off before I nick you”.

We never did get the Goldies, nor did we find out anyone who admitted to their whereabouts – but matey did get his come-uppance as the Police later raided his house after a tip off and found the remains of a dozen bikes in his shed and 20 or more bikes parts buried in his garden.

Hey Swan, what if those two Goldies are still in that River ???????????? :'(

Moral of this tale – if you’re fishing for Gold Stars – use the right bait ……………………………
 
I would love to hook one of those Goldies! Thanks for posting the story and happy birthday!


There are a few BSA's on board the shipwreck SS Thistlegorm in the Red Sea.
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Swan,

I know you read this thread - in this month's Classic Bike magazine [UK ] there's a very good article on rebuilding [ and data ] RRT2 boxes! Rebuilt by a top UK Goldie specialist. If it's any interest I can scan it and send it to a private e-mail address ?
 
B, Thank you for your kind offer, but I'll buy the magazine locally.
 
swan said:
I would love to hook one of those Goldies! Thanks for posting the story and happy birthday!


There are a few BSA's on board the shipwreck SS Thistlegorm in the Red Sea.
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Love that photo!!! I think those are M20s. I always said the M20s made great boat anchors!

Happy Birthday BC!!
 
Swan,

just to be clear - it's "Classic Bike Guide" magazine.

Thanx for the birthday wishes all - just need to focus this year [ health permitting ] to get at least 2 of my projects completed and on the road !
 
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