Overheard at work (Kids say the damndest things)

Blake

Blake

the future is my friend
Do you ever overhear bizarre stuff at work?

How about kids?

I work for a local school part time while attending college. I hear the craziest stuff come out the kids mouths. Last week an 8 year old girl said to her mom "Daddy says he wants to join a book club so he can meet MILF's." :D

I used to drive a schoolbus and I swear the conversations could've been college age guys and girls...

5 year old girl to an 8 year old girl: "When I have a boyfriend, I'm gonna let him poop on my boobs!" :eek:

5 year old girl blurted out to me on a Friday afternoon: "You need to go home and wash your face off with boobs!"

Out of the mouths of babes, I tell ya!
 
Ya alot of adults say stuff that is better of not said. Maybe you should think before posting such garbage, some kids might read this site.
 
Thanks blake, I got a great laugh out of it, and your right! I have heard some shit you would never expect!

Wissy, Kids do read this shit because parents ignore thier kids, and the kids find entertainment and knowledge from shit like the net, TV, and people that they should not be exposed to! If parents gave a shit, kids would not get into shit they shouldent be in and if they did, they would know right from wrong!

So get off your fuckin high horse, cause your heads must be in the smog!

Disclaimer: Not all parents are this way, and you know if your not, but if you are, you will say your not!
 
haha i teach at a pre-school, and occasionally retain things the kiddos say

little girl, completely randomly "i hope God is a bald man" me "why's that?" " i don't know, i guess i like bald men"
 
My son told my wife the other morning that he didn't think he had properly wiped his butt the night before. My wife said "How do you know?" My 4 year old son says. "It feels all slobbery back there."
Had a hell of a laugh about that one. And now I try to use the word slobbery every day.
 
My daughter had trouble with her "s" sounds when she was two. Confused them with her "f" sounds. Innocent Cherub would walk around with a Tootsie-Pop and declare, "Good fucker." Then enquire, while holding said Tootsie-Pop out to say, her Grandfather, "Whanta fuck"? Gave me the creepy shudders and the guffaws at the same time. Yikes! Yup, innocence is a beautiful thing.
 
It's all about context and perception. Kids see things with no social filter.

My older son was about 6 years old, and we were riding in the car. He was holding his hand out the window, raising and lowering it, like riding waves. I asked him "Derek, what are you doing?". He answered with "Filling up my bones".
Hmmm, that's not even close to what I expected. So I asked "Filling up your bones?"
He replied "Yea, when you die, all the air leaves your bones. So I'm fillin' mine up".
Uh, ok... I got nothin'
It was a week or so later that we were watching one of his favorite movies... "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade". It was near the end, at the part where the Nazi bad guy barges into the chalice room. He "chose poorly" and drank from the wrong chalice. At that moment he ages rapidly, and eventually collapses into a pile of bones on the floor. And then a wind blows his ashes away.
It was then that my son turned to me and said "See Daddy, when you die, all the air leaves your bones". And all of a sudden, it made sense :D

And then there was my younger son. At about 4 years old, he caught my wife exiting the shower and inquired as to why she didn't have a "weetsy" like Daddy, Derek and himself. My wife replied "Well, God didn't give me one". So he tells her "It's Ok, we go to da store and buy you one". ;)
 
Great Thread.
i'm only 21 so no kids, but I've got a story about myself

I was maybe 6 or 7 and learning to whistle. As the story goes, my family was in the the checkout line at walmart and I was standing next to my Dad. I had been practicing all day and finally got one real good 'wolf whistle' out....and the lady standing in front of us turned around and gave my Dad one terrible glare. I wasn't allowed to whistle in public after that.
 
These are all very cute and funny stories and twisted I am not on any high horse. There is cute then there is sick, pooping, tits and milf should not be talk with 5 year old children, period. I smoke but never in my car or house if there are any kids, does this make me a snob or a responsible parent? I saw my sons school teacher having a smoke outside the school in the parking lot the other day, I felt it was wrong for her to openly smoke where kids can see as she is suppose to be an example for the students, I told her so and she agreed with me and said she would be more cautious in the future. Excuse me for being careful of what I say and do around kids, but if we all were maybe they would not grow up wanting to poop on woman’s breasts.

Now go ahead and flame me all you want people, I don’t care, I do however care about the kids of our future.
 
wissy said:
These are all very cute and funny stories and twisted I am not on any high horse. There is cute then there is sick, pooping, tits and milf should not be talk with 5 year old children, period. I smoke but never in my car or house if there are any kids, does this make me a snob or a responsible parent? I saw my sons school teacher having a smoke outside the school in the parking lot the other day, I felt it was wrong for her to openly smoke where kids can see as she is suppose to be an example for the students, I told her so and she agreed with me and said she would be more cautious in the future. Excuse me for being careful of what I say and do around kids, but if we all were maybe they would not grow up wanting to poop on woman’s breasts.
Now go ahead and flame me all you want people, I don’t care, I do however care about the kids of our future.
Click to expand...

I agree with you and applaud you for being a responsible parent (they are hard to come across in this day and time) but Blake's post never mentioned HIM having a conversation with the kids, only spontaneous sentences he overheard or was told. Had he spoke to a child in that manner my stance would be completely different on the matter! Sorry to blast you, but maybe we both over reacted, I hope you see my point.
 
Are there alot of 5 year olds lurking these boards? ::)

Kids see, hear, and experience all sorts of things that are beyond a parents control. Most specifically from other kids. It's my job, as a responsible parent, to guide/teach my kids what is right/wrong, acceptable/unacceptable, etc. I don't expect others to do this for me.
If I'm walking down a public street with my kids, and we see someone passed out drunk at a bus stop, I'm not going to chastize the drunk, I'm going to explain to my kids the pitfalls of drinking alcohol. (and one of those pitfalls is my boot to their butts)
Wissy, you're still on a high horse and hypocritical too boot. Instead of chastizing the teacher, who was doing nothing illegal or immoral, maybe you should explain to your son that she made a choice. An unhealthy choice, and teach him to do better for himself. You might also try 'leading by example'.
I'm curious, do you sheild your son from your smoking because you don't want him to smoke at all? Or because you want him to wait until he's older?
 
Ok maybe I am on a bit of High horse, I actually quit smoking tobacco years ago, I sometimes indulge in something more natural but even that has become pointless and really not a habit I do much more then a couple times a year. I do tell my kids the dangers of this and that. I only started those bad habits because I saw adults doing it when I was very young, I drank for many years because my parents did, I am now 1 year sober after 25 years of abusing all kinds of bad habits including oxies for 10 years. So yes I am a hypercritic, with good reason to be one.

Anyways, let’s move on, didn’t mean to offend anyone.
 
wissy said:
I sometimes indulge in something more natural but even that has become pointless and really not a habit I do much more then a couple times a year.
Click to expand...

So you're into Le Whif? I hear that stuff is awesome.
http://www.lewhif.com/
 
So a couple years ago I'm standing outside the shop, enjoying the rare sunny afternoon here in Portland and along comes a young lady leading a string of snot-gobblers down the sidewalk. I'm sure it was a daycare outing of some kind as they were all holding hands and yammering along sing-song, generally being little kids having fun. Awesome! I dig little kids, they can teach/remind us a lot.....just listen.
Anyway......I say hi to the teacher and smile at the little kids who are all happy and cheerful like little kids generally are and as the last child in the line, a cute little girl with bouncy curls and dimple, comes past me she looks at me with the biggest sparkliest green eye and out of her little mouth comes "Doughebag" as she skips past.

......blink.........blinkblink.........

I could have been offended.
I could have been pissed off.
I was however completely gobstruck. She said it like you'd expect her to say 'KITTY!" or "Dolly!"...you know, happy, kind of excited.......

Kids are great!




edit for accurate location information (and to NOT get Twisted or Force's hopes up)
 
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