Society Today.....blah!
- Thread starter tWistedWheelz
- Start date
CresentSon
Over 1,000 Posts
I think someone has a thing for Sandra Bullock and is taking this a little personal...
I am a one woman guy, so was Dad. Just the way it should be. Life is complicated enough without being unable to count on the one person who should always have your back. Trust is a two way street, and it is a lack of trust that inevitably leads to all the problems you guys are discussing.
Cant trust your SO, can't trust the media, those kids can't trust their crack head parents, and all because people become too self absorbed to look at the bigger picture. If we practiced a little more of the golden rule we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?
I am a one woman guy, so was Dad. Just the way it should be. Life is complicated enough without being unable to count on the one person who should always have your back. Trust is a two way street, and it is a lack of trust that inevitably leads to all the problems you guys are discussing.
Cant trust your SO, can't trust the media, those kids can't trust their crack head parents, and all because people become too self absorbed to look at the bigger picture. If we practiced a little more of the golden rule we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?
share everything
play fair
don't hit people
put things back where you found them
clean up your own mess
don't take things that aren't yours
say you're sorry when you hurt someone
wash your hands before you eat
flush
warm cookies and cold milk are good for you
live a balanced life- learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some
take a nap every afternoon
when you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together
be aware of wonder. remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that
goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the styrofoam cup- they all die. so do we.
and then remember the dick-and-jane books and the first word you learned- the biggest word of all- LOOK
it's all in there.. the golden rule, love, basic sanitation, ecology, politics, equality, and sane living. "all i really needed to know i learned in kindergarten"
play fair
don't hit people
put things back where you found them
clean up your own mess
don't take things that aren't yours
say you're sorry when you hurt someone
wash your hands before you eat
flush
warm cookies and cold milk are good for you
live a balanced life- learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some
take a nap every afternoon
when you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together
be aware of wonder. remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that
goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the styrofoam cup- they all die. so do we.
and then remember the dick-and-jane books and the first word you learned- the biggest word of all- LOOK
it's all in there.. the golden rule, love, basic sanitation, ecology, politics, equality, and sane living. "all i really needed to know i learned in kindergarten"
CresentSon
Over 1,000 Posts
Well spoken my dear, truer words have yet to be uttered.
judeyramone
Active Member
So sexual fidelity is the yardstick by which the value of a person is measured?
I had an affair, and shortly thereafter my marriage ended. I'm the bad guy?
No...
After 12yrs of marriage, and 3 kids, I am the one who noticed the marriage was eroding and I am the one who took steps to rectify the situation. for 12yrs, we had put all our money into our house, and were all set to have it paid off for my oldest daughter's 18th birthday - just in time for college. Poor as we may have been, we weren't in any debt because I hated it & my wife knew it. So, over the years I re-roofed the house, and II built the new garage. I installed the hardwood floors & custom cabinets. And I continued to press for a re-prioritization, for several years, the goal being to get back to a point where my relationship with my wife was the first priority in both our lives (children excluded, obviously). After 3yrs of my wife refusing to participate, I gave up, and decided the marriage was all it was going to be, and resolved to stick it out until my children were grown. The affair happened at this point, and I didn't go looking for it. It just happened. Of course my wife found out... right about the same time I found out she had maxed out a line of credit on our house, as well as liquidating her retirement!
During the 12yr marriage, she had gained nearly 100lbs mind you, and even though I still found her attractive, we had all but stopped all sex, due to her lack of interest.
At the very end, with our last joint tax refund, she insisted we needed new bunk beds for my boys ($1000), new windows ($1500), New Furnace ($1000, and which I did the work to install), and attic insulation ($750)... all the while knowing we were $50,000 in debt - and lying to me about the money. Perhaps windows which saved us $5/month were of secondary importance to the interest we were paying on loans she took? Perhaps my boys could have slept another year in the beds they had?
Oh... and she told my children (ages 6, 8 & 10) that Papa has a girlfriend... before I had even moved out. Take a guess as to whether they know about the missing $72,000.
So... My wife refused to participate in the marriage, despite my continued pleadings for several years, she stole a very large sum of money (while I was making the investment, she was pulling it right back out), and used my children as a weapon against me...
Yes, she got my house and my garage (in large part because I felt it important that my children remain in the only house they've ever known), and now she feels entitled to child support. I am renting an apartment because, of course, there's no money left.
And I'm the moral criminal?
Go, you're right... nothing beats baked goods. What works here is pie (and my children know I bake a better pie than their mother).
I had an affair, and shortly thereafter my marriage ended. I'm the bad guy?
No...
After 12yrs of marriage, and 3 kids, I am the one who noticed the marriage was eroding and I am the one who took steps to rectify the situation. for 12yrs, we had put all our money into our house, and were all set to have it paid off for my oldest daughter's 18th birthday - just in time for college. Poor as we may have been, we weren't in any debt because I hated it & my wife knew it. So, over the years I re-roofed the house, and II built the new garage. I installed the hardwood floors & custom cabinets. And I continued to press for a re-prioritization, for several years, the goal being to get back to a point where my relationship with my wife was the first priority in both our lives (children excluded, obviously). After 3yrs of my wife refusing to participate, I gave up, and decided the marriage was all it was going to be, and resolved to stick it out until my children were grown. The affair happened at this point, and I didn't go looking for it. It just happened. Of course my wife found out... right about the same time I found out she had maxed out a line of credit on our house, as well as liquidating her retirement!
During the 12yr marriage, she had gained nearly 100lbs mind you, and even though I still found her attractive, we had all but stopped all sex, due to her lack of interest.
At the very end, with our last joint tax refund, she insisted we needed new bunk beds for my boys ($1000), new windows ($1500), New Furnace ($1000, and which I did the work to install), and attic insulation ($750)... all the while knowing we were $50,000 in debt - and lying to me about the money. Perhaps windows which saved us $5/month were of secondary importance to the interest we were paying on loans she took? Perhaps my boys could have slept another year in the beds they had?
Oh... and she told my children (ages 6, 8 & 10) that Papa has a girlfriend... before I had even moved out. Take a guess as to whether they know about the missing $72,000.
So... My wife refused to participate in the marriage, despite my continued pleadings for several years, she stole a very large sum of money (while I was making the investment, she was pulling it right back out), and used my children as a weapon against me...
Yes, she got my house and my garage (in large part because I felt it important that my children remain in the only house they've ever known), and now she feels entitled to child support. I am renting an apartment because, of course, there's no money left.
And I'm the moral criminal?
Go, you're right... nothing beats baked goods. What works here is pie (and my children know I bake a better pie than their mother).
tWistedWheelz
BUILT NOT BOUGHT!
Brother, I am not judging anyone!
I am just stating a lack of morals in todays society, and as in all things, there are exeptions to the rule.
You did not have to explain your case, but you have my support in your actions. To me, you did the right thing, you tried, tried, and tried harder to reconstruct and maintain your relationship with your wife before moving on to more drastic actions!
I am mainly pointing my finger at the celebrities you see and hear about, and for all I know, they may have the same problems you had. I just was unnaware of it!
I don't want to offend anyone or judge them, that is never on any agenda of mine.
I pitty society today for its general lack of morals and concern for others. That is all I really wanted to discuss. I dont think any less of you for your reaction to your situation!
I am just stating a lack of morals in todays society, and as in all things, there are exeptions to the rule.
You did not have to explain your case, but you have my support in your actions. To me, you did the right thing, you tried, tried, and tried harder to reconstruct and maintain your relationship with your wife before moving on to more drastic actions!
I am mainly pointing my finger at the celebrities you see and hear about, and for all I know, they may have the same problems you had. I just was unnaware of it!
I don't want to offend anyone or judge them, that is never on any agenda of mine.
I pitty society today for its general lack of morals and concern for others. That is all I really wanted to discuss. I dont think any less of you for your reaction to your situation!
This has been a truly facinating discussion. Thank you everyone for your contribution. 
Some random thoughts....
I'm a "one woman" kinda guy too. Fortunately, my wife is a "one man" kinda woman.
I made a committment to my wife 33 years ago and I meant it. She made the same. I feel your "yes" should mean yes, and your "no" mean no. With some, it's difficult to know what they mean.
I think finding a partner that's as committed as you are is the key. How do you do that? I don't know! I got lucky I guess. We are as different as you can be in terms of interests and hobbies. We agree on the "big things" in life though.
To me, I couldn't imagine hurting the woman I love. It just wouldn't enter my thoughts. Can I appreciate a fine feminine form?? You bet! But that's as far as it goes.
What would I do if she cheated on me or left me? Or if she gave up on our marriage? I really don't know! I can't imagine it happening, but....
I know bad things happen to good people. I feel bad for you who have experienced this kinda thing first hand. I truly don't know what I'd do in your place. I pray I won't have to face that.
Relationships are work. We've worked on ours, and it's been "a good ride" to date. We know we need to keep on working at it. 8)
Some random thoughts....
I'm a "one woman" kinda guy too. Fortunately, my wife is a "one man" kinda woman.
I made a committment to my wife 33 years ago and I meant it. She made the same. I feel your "yes" should mean yes, and your "no" mean no. With some, it's difficult to know what they mean.
I think finding a partner that's as committed as you are is the key. How do you do that? I don't know! I got lucky I guess. We are as different as you can be in terms of interests and hobbies. We agree on the "big things" in life though.
To me, I couldn't imagine hurting the woman I love. It just wouldn't enter my thoughts. Can I appreciate a fine feminine form?? You bet! But that's as far as it goes.
What would I do if she cheated on me or left me? Or if she gave up on our marriage? I really don't know! I can't imagine it happening, but....
I know bad things happen to good people. I feel bad for you who have experienced this kinda thing first hand. I truly don't know what I'd do in your place. I pray I won't have to face that.
Relationships are work. We've worked on ours, and it's been "a good ride" to date. We know we need to keep on working at it. 8)
Swagger
Putting boot to ass since 1967!
I had a wife. I worked hard at being a husband. She worked hard at not being a wife and screwed her boss, ostensibly because his wallet was well hung. I got stuck with 40 grand in her debt, she got stuck with an allowance and a 5'3" milquetoast. WooHooo!
Yeah, at the very most basic level...how one comports oneself IS the basic yardstick by which we are all judged. Should you have banged someone else before pitching the deadweight in a dress...prolly not. Did your kids suffer for it? Prolly though by your account she should have been flogged for it. Didja fuck up? Yeah but could it be helped? I doubt it. Nobody should have to saddle themselves with a marriage like that, but if you are get out first. For your children's sake I hope she lives a long time. For yours I hope she has inflamed boils on her vag for the rest of that life.
addendum: Having seen pics of that work of art you so lamely call a "garage", I can see why you are pissed about losing that one. Having seen pics of the new 'girl' and heard some of your references to her, it sounds like you came out pretty good in the end...at least on that front.
The point is, we're all flawed. Every one of us. The Pope still has to wipe his holy butt, Cameron Diaz has stains on her panties and the vice preseident has a foul mouth. Do we need to hear about it?
"Who fucking cares?" should be the question at hand.
My next door neighbor's moral heading is of no concern to me until it spills over into my life. Now, that doesn't mean that it's a problem if I've got my nose pressed against the glass watching her diddle to monkey porn....that just means I should mind my own business. We all should.
Why do we care that Brad and Angelina and on the outs with that metro-soccer player and his skeez of a wife? We shouldn't. Why do we care that Tiger Woods is stupid enough to have an affair in the first place but also tasteless enough to choose the women(sic) he chose? We shouldn't.
We are awash in the media machine's crap. Shit that doesn't matter....at all. I know Tom Cruise is a nutbag....anyone with sense can tell. Do i need to see him jumping on Oprah's couch, or the countless parodies capitalizing on said nutbaggyness? No....no I don't. But we're awash....no...smeared by a constant flow of garbage from all corners. We (as humans) are so numbed to what we should be doing by all the shite we're spoon fed minute by minute.
In the end, really people....who fucking cares?
Unplug the internet pacifier, turn off the idiot box, burn your fucking newspapers, turn off the radio and go do something. Just once a day, disconnect from the fecal flow. Highschool kids think it's ok to do this crap because that's what they see....everywhere. We ARE circling the drain folks.
Yeah, at the very most basic level...how one comports oneself IS the basic yardstick by which we are all judged. Should you have banged someone else before pitching the deadweight in a dress...prolly not. Did your kids suffer for it? Prolly though by your account she should have been flogged for it. Didja fuck up? Yeah but could it be helped? I doubt it. Nobody should have to saddle themselves with a marriage like that, but if you are get out first. For your children's sake I hope she lives a long time. For yours I hope she has inflamed boils on her vag for the rest of that life.
addendum: Having seen pics of that work of art you so lamely call a "garage", I can see why you are pissed about losing that one. Having seen pics of the new 'girl' and heard some of your references to her, it sounds like you came out pretty good in the end...at least on that front.
The point is, we're all flawed. Every one of us. The Pope still has to wipe his holy butt, Cameron Diaz has stains on her panties and the vice preseident has a foul mouth. Do we need to hear about it?
"Who fucking cares?" should be the question at hand.
My next door neighbor's moral heading is of no concern to me until it spills over into my life. Now, that doesn't mean that it's a problem if I've got my nose pressed against the glass watching her diddle to monkey porn....that just means I should mind my own business. We all should.
Why do we care that Brad and Angelina and on the outs with that metro-soccer player and his skeez of a wife? We shouldn't. Why do we care that Tiger Woods is stupid enough to have an affair in the first place but also tasteless enough to choose the women(sic) he chose? We shouldn't.
We are awash in the media machine's crap. Shit that doesn't matter....at all. I know Tom Cruise is a nutbag....anyone with sense can tell. Do i need to see him jumping on Oprah's couch, or the countless parodies capitalizing on said nutbaggyness? No....no I don't. But we're awash....no...smeared by a constant flow of garbage from all corners. We (as humans) are so numbed to what we should be doing by all the shite we're spoon fed minute by minute.
In the end, really people....who fucking cares?
Unplug the internet pacifier, turn off the idiot box, burn your fucking newspapers, turn off the radio and go do something. Just once a day, disconnect from the fecal flow. Highschool kids think it's ok to do this crap because that's what they see....everywhere. We ARE circling the drain folks.
tWistedWheelz
BUILT NOT BOUGHT!
SWAGGER FOR PRESIDENT
2012
2012
CresentSon
Over 1,000 Posts
Jude, thank you for proving my point. The heart of the golden rule is taking responsibility for one's own actions and realizing that you form the world in which you live. I cannot say what I would have done in your situation, because I have not lived it. That being said, I haven't lived your life because the relative choices I have made. Whether or not you knew the outcomes of your decisions, they were yours to make and they led you to the state you were in.
Fact of the matter is the only thing we have been given control of is our will. The only way you can truly change a situation is to start with yourself. I think you know, behind all your rationalizing you f'ed up. You could have made any of a hundred different choices different along the way, that could have changed the outcome. Cheating and then blaming your ex for not making it work after you got caught is a cop out. Ultimately it is over, done, and in the past so no reason to beat yourself up. I just think it is of utmost importance to acknowledge that there is a right way and a wrong way to escape a bad relationship. The difference between your stance and mine on the issue is you feel your actions were just because she was a shit bag wife, and I feel that it is your responsibility to yourself to be the bigger man and handle your business like a man instead of sneaking around about it.
Think of it like a business. You have a bad partner, but your in too deep. Option one, tactfully cut your losses balancing the needs of employees, partners, shareholders, yourself, and future partners. Option two, shred everything, run out one night and liquidate the assets to invest elswhere, and piss on your employees pensions thinking of your own selfish carnal desires first. Seems clear when stated that way doesn't it.
Cheater = Enron.
I don't mean to call you out on the carpet, but you laid yourself out as the example. In your own words "it just happened". I call bullshit. The opportunity happened, you made the choice, and then used all your reason to justify that choice. I say all this as a friend, both to you and those your opinion might sway. You have to come to grips with the fact that there will always be unforeseen complications to straight forward options. That is just life brother.
Every guy I have ever seen locked up sounded just like you. There arguments were just as justified, but the fact remains that no one forced their actions. Your choices are yours to live with. End of story.
Fact of the matter is the only thing we have been given control of is our will. The only way you can truly change a situation is to start with yourself. I think you know, behind all your rationalizing you f'ed up. You could have made any of a hundred different choices different along the way, that could have changed the outcome. Cheating and then blaming your ex for not making it work after you got caught is a cop out. Ultimately it is over, done, and in the past so no reason to beat yourself up. I just think it is of utmost importance to acknowledge that there is a right way and a wrong way to escape a bad relationship. The difference between your stance and mine on the issue is you feel your actions were just because she was a shit bag wife, and I feel that it is your responsibility to yourself to be the bigger man and handle your business like a man instead of sneaking around about it.
Think of it like a business. You have a bad partner, but your in too deep. Option one, tactfully cut your losses balancing the needs of employees, partners, shareholders, yourself, and future partners. Option two, shred everything, run out one night and liquidate the assets to invest elswhere, and piss on your employees pensions thinking of your own selfish carnal desires first. Seems clear when stated that way doesn't it.
Cheater = Enron.
I don't mean to call you out on the carpet, but you laid yourself out as the example. In your own words "it just happened". I call bullshit. The opportunity happened, you made the choice, and then used all your reason to justify that choice. I say all this as a friend, both to you and those your opinion might sway. You have to come to grips with the fact that there will always be unforeseen complications to straight forward options. That is just life brother.
Every guy I have ever seen locked up sounded just like you. There arguments were just as justified, but the fact remains that no one forced their actions. Your choices are yours to live with. End of story.
tWistedWheelz
BUILT NOT BOUGHT!
cresent, sometimes when I read your post, I have the voice of lawrence fishburn as mophius narrating your post! The above is some matrix shit for sure!
CresentSon
Over 1,000 Posts
I actually am a lieutenant of an under rebellion seeking to regain control of the very cosmos.
I can prove it but first you have to take this pill...
I can prove it but first you have to take this pill...
judeyramone
Active Member
Absolutely. Poor choice of words. By it, I meant I wasn't actively out running around, looking for somebody to bang.
dcmspikes
Over 1,000 Posts
geez, i didnt think this group was capable of this. im impressed. im with Swagger on the idea that the world is a toilet. i also firmly believe that the world is different for every person that views it. i think the problem today is a general lack of responsibility. we all fuck up. dont hide it. accept it and learn from it. yes, sometimes things 'just happen'. and yes a decision was made to let it 'just happen'. at the end of the day you have to live with the knowledge of what realy happened and the consequences of your actions. im not much of a believer of Do unto others.... for me it is Do what you want, but accept the consequences and take responsibility. if there is one thing ive learned about relationships it is communication. if you arent happy with something, let it be known. but what do i know?
and speaking of responsiblity, i found out yesterday how uncommon it is.
story time, stop reading here if you dont want to know sensless rant
im getting work done on my house and using a contractor. i sent said contractor to a city dept to obtain a permit for some work. the city has a 'program' for this specific work that can pay up to 1/2 of the cost. when the contractor tried to get the permit the city asked if i, the owner, wanted to use the program. he replied that had already asked me and that i denied the useof the program. i have money budgeted for the work and was actually surprised that the cost of the work was so low. it turned in to a huge day long ordeal because i denied this assistance of the 'program'. i had to call the city dept to explain to them that i did not want assistance. that i was being responsible for my own property. that i understand there are costs involved in property mantainance and that i had budgeted for them. also inthe interest of time i did not want to use their program. the city thought that i must be hiding something. this guy wants to pay for his work so he cant be trusted. what the fuck? sorry i work and i save and i choose to spend my money on my house. it was crazy. the people at the city think i am out of my mind because i dont want their money. maybe if i dont take the money they could use it somewhere else? so of course, by the end of the day i have to go through most of the steps that the program requires and therefor i might as well fill out their application. you should have seen everyone when i walked in to turn it in. everyone looked at me silently asking "is that the guy"? i assured them that i was the crazy person who wanted to pay for his own things. the lady i spoke to the day before called me the 'idependantly wealthy' homeowner.
my point is that in todays society people are not expected to be responsible for themselves. to the point that when they are responsible they are untrustworthy. its great to be alive. so dont be too accountable for yourself, you just might find yourself on some sort of blacklist.
and speaking of responsiblity, i found out yesterday how uncommon it is.
story time, stop reading here if you dont want to know sensless rant
im getting work done on my house and using a contractor. i sent said contractor to a city dept to obtain a permit for some work. the city has a 'program' for this specific work that can pay up to 1/2 of the cost. when the contractor tried to get the permit the city asked if i, the owner, wanted to use the program. he replied that had already asked me and that i denied the useof the program. i have money budgeted for the work and was actually surprised that the cost of the work was so low. it turned in to a huge day long ordeal because i denied this assistance of the 'program'. i had to call the city dept to explain to them that i did not want assistance. that i was being responsible for my own property. that i understand there are costs involved in property mantainance and that i had budgeted for them. also inthe interest of time i did not want to use their program. the city thought that i must be hiding something. this guy wants to pay for his work so he cant be trusted. what the fuck? sorry i work and i save and i choose to spend my money on my house. it was crazy. the people at the city think i am out of my mind because i dont want their money. maybe if i dont take the money they could use it somewhere else? so of course, by the end of the day i have to go through most of the steps that the program requires and therefor i might as well fill out their application. you should have seen everyone when i walked in to turn it in. everyone looked at me silently asking "is that the guy"? i assured them that i was the crazy person who wanted to pay for his own things. the lady i spoke to the day before called me the 'idependantly wealthy' homeowner.
my point is that in todays society people are not expected to be responsible for themselves. to the point that when they are responsible they are untrustworthy. its great to be alive. so dont be too accountable for yourself, you just might find yourself on some sort of blacklist.
Sooo true! hahahahatWistedWheelz said:
;D ;DCresentSon said:I actually am a lieutenant of an under rebellion seeking to regain control of the very cosmos.
I can prove it but first you have to take this pill...
go! said:
Never thought about it but go! I think you are right!
Now that I've taken the time to go back through and read most of the post on this thread I realize I missed a bunch. Note to self: Start at the begining and read to the end. I might learn something :
VonYinzer
Over 10,000 Posts
Man... You folks are alright.
At the end of the day if you can fall asleep with a smile on your face and you havent robbed anyone else of that pleasure, shits not so bad. Sure, the media machine is bullshit. Sure, we're constantly innundated with that bullshit. Like Swagger and others have said though... no ones stopping you from turning it off.
At the end of the day if you can fall asleep with a smile on your face and you havent robbed anyone else of that pleasure, shits not so bad. Sure, the media machine is bullshit. Sure, we're constantly innundated with that bullshit. Like Swagger and others have said though... no ones stopping you from turning it off.
